Unknown Beginnings
by maired75
Summary: What do you do when the person you were suppose to spend the rest of your life with is taken from you. Do you sit back and let the world pass you by and you wilt away into oblivion or will an unexpected person pull you from your dark trenches?
1. Introduction

**Author's Note: This story was up before, but I took it down and edited it and made some improvements. I hope you like it the second time around.**

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**Unknown Beginnings**

**Introduction**

The room was dark. It had been dark for days now. My mind constantly slipped back to a week ago when I was in Voltera. I had watched the Volturi grab Edward and drag him back into the shadows. Of course, this was not before I saw his beautiful skin sparkle one last time. I was so stuck in my mind at that moment that I barely understood Alice's shouts at me to take the phone and run. I am not sure why I did it even. I had wanted to die from that moment on. Somehow, though, I had been able to make it outside the huge gates and pressed the one to speed dial Carlisle. They bought me a plane ticket and I caught a cab to the airport. When I had called Carlisle I told him not to tell anyone else. I had to be the one to tell them I had failed. All of this had been done on autopilot. It wasn't until I stepped off the plane and came face to face with Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper that emotion took over. I simply crumbled to the ground in tears. Nobody knew what to do except for Carlisle. He had scooped me up and made our way to the car. I didn't speak until we were back at the house. I had to look into the eyes of all of them and tell them that because of me their son and daughter, brother and sister, where dead. I watched as Jasper's face caved. I watched as Esme broke into sobs. I watched as everyone seemed to cave around me. From that moment on I had stayed in my room. Every once in a while Esme or Carlisle would come in and sit with me. They would bring me food. I would nibble, but never really eat. I had exactly one conversation the entire week. It was with Carlisle. I had told him to fake my death. I didn't plan on showing my face anywhere anytime soon. I was waiting for death. That was my goal now. After much argument, he finally agreed. Since then, I had been silent.

So here I lay. Curled up under the comforter in, what use to be, Edward's room. I could still smell him on the sheets. Whenever I emerged to go to the restroom I would see all the reminders of him around me. His books, magazines, CD's, and most importantly, his pictures. All these reminders ripped the hole in my chest wide open.

I heard the bedroom door open and waited for the soothing hand on my shoulder from Esme. It was silent for a few minutes and I felt nothing. A second later the bed sunk down, but still no touch. I slowly pushed the blanket back to see who had joined me. Rosalie sat on the bed next to me with her long legs stretched out in front of her. I looked up at her silently waiting for her to speak. After a few minutes she glanced down at me and I knew that if she could, she would be crying.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Her voiced cracked.

I didn't speak. I just looked at her in confusion. What was she apologizing for? This was my entire fault.

"I'm sorry that you blame yourself. I'm sorry that I have stayed silent this long. I'm sorry that I made that call to Edward telling him that you had killed yourself. None of this would have happened if I had just kept my mouth shut."

"Rosalie, it is not your fault. If I was faster or stronger I would have made it to him in time. If I had not been so weak and wanting to hear his voice I wouldn't have jumped off the cliff. Sooner or later this would have happened."

"The family is so torn. We are trying to work on it. Jasper is even working through it. It is hard, though, without you. You have never been more a part of this family than right now. We need you." Her words were sincere and they reached into my body and seemed to put the first stitch in my heart.

"I will try," I said attempting a smile.

We sat there for a long time just getting use to this new found closeness. Finally, I slid the blanket down and sat up. I was instantly hit with all of Edward's reminders. All of his things seemed to jump out at me. I flinched at it and Rosalie was instantly by my side.

"I know it is hard. I think we need to consider packing up a lot of this stuff. We will keep it of course, but maybe make some room for your things. You are, after all, staying."

I nodded at her. She excused herself and told me she would see me when I was ready. I sat on the edge of the bed for a long time simply staring out the window. It was dark out. I had my days and nights totally confused. Luckily it didn't matter because there would always be someone around. I finally got the courage to stand up and walked into the bathroom. There were dark circles under my eyes and my hair was sticking up in every direction. I decided to take a shower. Hopefully that would help.

I let the water run over me for a long time. It seemed that I was trying to wash away more than just grime. I was trying to wash away a little of this barrier that was built up around me. This was going to take a while. After an hour in the shower I finally stepped out and dried off. I slipped into a pair of yoga pants and a tank top before making my way down the hall.

I paused at the stairs afraid of actually making an appearance. I slowly took each step until I was able to see the living room. It was empty except for Jasper who was standing by the fireplace. He had his back to me and I am not sure even with his extra hearing if he knew I was there. I stood there for a moment trying to figure out what he was doing. I finally noticed as he stepped to the side that he was staring at a picture of him and Alice. The hole in my chest ripped wide open again and I gasped as I gripped the hand rail with all my strength. Jasper's head flipped around and he saw me standing there. Tears spilled out of my eyes.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I said before turning and bolting back up the stairs.

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	2. Chapter 1

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 1: Unbearable Pain**

I managed to make it up the stairs without falling. I was leading with my hands because my eyes were blurry from tears. I made it halfway up the second flight of stairs before I felt the hand on me.

"Bella, wait." Jasper's voice was thick with emotion.

I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to. I wasn't sure I could handle the sadness in his eyes. Yet, I knew that he was having to do just that. He did not only have to deal with his own grief, but everyone else's.

"Bella, calm down." I felt the waves of calm that he was sending at me and they worked a little.

The tears subsided a bit and my breathing became easier. I slid down the rail until I was curled up with my knees to my chest. Jasper was kneeling on the stairs beside me.

"I need you to listen to me. I don't blame you. You tried. That is more than I can ask for. I know you are hurting. I feel it. I know it feels like your life got ripped away from you just as you were about to get it back. I feel the same way. Whether you know it or not Bella, he loved you. He left for you. I blame myself for that absence still to this day. Had I been able to control myself better it never would have happened. That is all I worked on while we were away. I learned to control myself better. I did it for you two. I knew that it would be easier on him if he didn't have to worry about me attacking you again. Then you find out you can save him and you go and it just wasn't mean to be. I know he is somewhere better. I know that he didn't seem to think he had a soul, but for someone like Edward, there is something better. You need to believe that. You need to believe, just like I do, that he and Alice are up there looking down and happy for us. They want us to live our lives. It is the only way you are going to be able to go on."

"I'm… not sure… I know how to do that," I said between breaths of air.

"Day by day. Nobody can do it alone, that is for sure. I need you. I need you to help me."

At his words I finally looked up at him. He seemed to be pleading with me. I knew that he would be the only one in this house that would understand what I was going through completely.

"I need you too," I whispered.

He nodded before pulling me into a hug. I buried my head in his chest and let the tears come again. The cold arms around me felt familiar and heartbreaking all at the same time. We must have sat there for hours as he held me crying. I felt my eyes starting to droop and my head lulled to the side. A second later I was in the air and Jasper was carrying me up to my room.

"Jasper." I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

"Yes, Bella?" He looked down at me as he placed me on the familiar bed.

"I don't want to be alone. Please make sure someone is always in here with me. I have nightmares."

"Of course. Get some sleep. You look like you haven't slept at all." He pulled the blanket up around me and then sat down on the chair in the corner.

I fell asleep before I could say anymore.

When I woke I heard birds chirping outside the window. I opened my eyes and saw the sun streaming in. I stretched my body out and sat up a little resting my body on my elbow.

"Morning, sunshine." A low voice came from behind me.

I jumped and spun around to see Emmett sitting on the bed with a PSP in his hand.

"Em, you scared me!" I scolded slapping him on the knee.

"Sorry Bells. Didn't mean to." He gave me a crooked grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"It's ok. What time is it?" I asked looking around for the clock.

"Almost noon."

"Wow. I really need to get my days straight."

"Around here it really doesn't matter." He shut the game off and put it down looking at me seriously. "How you feeling?"

"Still a little tired. Not enough to go back to sleep though. I feel like that was the best sleep in a while though. Only a few nightmares. I think I might venture downstairs again today."

"That's good. I'm glad to see you coming out of it a little. You know nobody expects you to be perfect right?" He seemed concerned about this thought.

"I know. I'm going to be far from it. I just need to get up and start functioning."

"So, uh, your funeral is today," He said out of no where.

"What?" I shrieked.

"Carlisle arranged everything and got a body from the morgue that nobody claimed. It was burned up pretty good. The service is at the high school. We are all going. Well, except for Jasper. We figure he is the best to stay with you. People will understand that."

"How do they think I died?"

"Carlisle told them that you… uh… Alice and Edward… were in an accident and the car caught on fire." He seemed to struggle saying their names.

"Oh," I glanced around the room uncomfortably.

"Well, I am going to go get dressed for the service. Jasper is in the living room whenever you are ready to come down."

"Ok, thank you Emmett for sitting with me."

"You're my sister. The only one I got left. I would do anything for you," He said before making his way out of the room.

The only one he had left. My thoughts wandered to Alice. I could still see her brilliant smile on the plane when we had talked about changing me. I could feel her excitement when she talked about shopping. I could feel her cold arms around me as she hugged me tightly. I felt the tears welled up and took a few deep breaths to calm myself back down. I made my way into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and my hair. I slipped into a pair of jeans and was about to slip into a t-shirt when I paused at the closet. I slid it open and was hit by Edward's scent. His sweet aroma wafted into the room surrounding me. I ran my hand along all the clothes in their. After a few minutes of reminiscing I grabbed on of his plain t-shirts and slipped it on. This would have to do for now to keep the monsters at bay. I grabbed a hair tie throwing my hair in a pony tail and made my way downstairs.

Jasper was sitting on the couch watching House. He turned his head as I came down the stairs and gave me a small smile.

"I was wondering if you were going to come out today?" he was trying to cheer me up.

"Sorry. I haven't slept well in quite a while. Thank you for making sure someone was with me," I stopped and stood in the middle of the room staring at the TV.

"I would have stayed myself but Emmett got all territorial about it and said he wanted a turn." I smiled lightly at him and turned my attention back to the TV.

"You going to sit down or stand there all day." I glanced back over at him and he patted the cushion next to him on the couch.

I sat down lightly and he put his arm around my shoulders pulling me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and curled my legs up to my chest. We sat like this for about an hour watching a House marathon that was on. My stomach growled loudly during a commercial.

"Are you hungry?" he asked quietly.

"No. My stomach obviously thinks so though."

"When is that last time you ate?"

"I'm ok." I was trying to avoid this subject.

"Bella, you are loosing weight. Just tell me."

I looked up at him for a moment and he simply stared at me waiting for an answer.

"Two days ago," I whispered.

"Well, that does it. I am making you something. You can't go that long without food. I know you are depressed, but it's not going to do any good if you starve yourself to death."

I looked away as he scolded me. His words about death sounded appealing.

"It would to me," I mumbled.

He was silent and didn't attempt to move to go make me food.

"Why would you even say that? Haven't we lost enough people? Bella, I couldn't stand it if I lost you too." He whispered the last words.

"I'm sorry Jasper. I didn't mean it. I know this is just as hard for you as it is for me." I looked back up at him and attempted a smile. It felt all wrong.

"I'll be right back with some food." He said before he stood and walked into the kitchen.

I felt horrible. Again, I had made someone hurt. I was trying, but sometimes it seemed hard. I would just have to try harder.

**Two Months Later**

Life had changed a little. I had healed a little. Don't get me wrong… it was still a fresh wound and would take years, if not decades to heal. I am not sure it ever would completely, but I was trying. Things around the house had gotten easier too. Everyone seemed to be getting back into the groove of things. Carlisle and Esme seemed to be happier. Esme was back to decorating and had found a little cottage out in the middle of the woods on their property that she was fixing up and remodeling. Carlisle was hard at work. Rosalie had stepped into the place of Alice as my best friend. She still didn't understand the idea of me wanting to be a vampire, but was more open to it seems I was living with them now anyway. Emmett was back to his old self. On occasion you would seem him visibly upset and know he was thinking about Alice and Edward, but normally he was causing ruckus and picking on me to make me blush. Jasper was the biggest difference. I always figured that Alice was the reason he stuck around this lifestyle, but he was a lot better. His control was better and he never had a problem being around me. We had grown the closest. I didn't leave the house much because I was supposed to be dead. We were actually moving to a new place somewhere up in Alaska not too far from the Denali's. After a month we had packed up most of Edward and Alice's things. Each of us had taken a few things to keep out as little reminders, but the rest got put into boxes and stacked in the garage. I knew none of it would ever get thrown away. I had taken the pictures of us, a few of his favorite CD's, a few books, and all of his shirts. Of course they were beginning to not smell like him, but the thought is what counted. I also kept his pillow. I slept with it wrapped in my arms every night. Other than that his room had been transformed into my room. I chose not to paint the walls or anything. We simply got new bedspreads, and decorations. I also had to go on a shopping spree with Rosalie and Esme for a new wardrobe because all of my clothes had still been at Charlie's.

From what I heard, Charlie was doing ok. One of the ladies from La Push was spending a lot of time with him, which made me feel good. A big part of me felt guilty for leaving him the way I did, but I knew that he would have been unhappy with me around. I was still not the happiest person. Other than that, we had simply spent a lot of time talking and I wandered the property a lot. With the company of someone of course. They were still just as protective of me as normal.

Here it was, the day of the move. We had spent the whole night before packing up the cars with the last few things we had left and then the whole day driving. All of the belongings and furniture had been bought for the new house and were already there and waiting. The sun was starting to set when we pulled in the driveway. The house was huge, of course. Esme had done well picking it out. I stepped out of the car that me and Jasper had ridden in together and stretched. As I looked at the sun that was barely a peek over the horizon I smiled.

_It's Twilight. This is the safest time of day for us._

Edward's words echoed in my head. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to look at Jasper standing there.

"You ok? I called your name a few times and you didn't answer."

"Yeah, Jas. Just thinking about the time Edward explained Twilight to me."

It had gotten a lot easier to say his name. It still hurt most of the time, but I could say it without flinching. I missed him most when I was alone. If I had company around it was easier.

Jasper smiled at me and pulled me toward the house. Inside was even nicer than outside. There was a huge fireplace and large sitting space. Of course the big screen was already hooked up and Emmett was sitting on the couch watching a football game.

"I see he has found his place in life," I said picking on him.

"You better watch it Bella. I will attack you."

"Oh, who's afraid of the big bad wolf?" I mocked him knowing he didn't like the wolves.

"You will pay for those comments later Bells!" he yelled as I walked into the kitchen.

Esme was there putting groceries away.

"You know Esme. I am very capable of getting my own groceries now that I will be aloud to leave the house."

"Oh Bella, you will not be leaving this house alone. But besides that, I love taking care of you. It's been a while since I was able to cook and care for someone else. Don't spoil it for me," She said winking as she went back to her task.

"Want to see your room?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah. And yours!" I said as we made our way up the stairs.

The second story had Rosalie and Emmett's room as well as Carlisle and Esme's. Carlisle's study was at the end of the long hallway. Jasper then led me up to the third floor. Jasper paused at the first door and opened it. This was Jasper's study I assumed. His desk and computers were set up along one wall and bookshelves surrounded it on each side.

"This is nice! Always have to have your study." I said poking him in the side.

"Oh you have it wrong Bella. This is our study," He said pointing toward behind the door.

I looked at him confused and made my way into the room. Once you entered the room it opened up and was huge. Jasper's stuff was on one side and behind the door was a whole other side. There was a dark cherry wood desk with a big plushy looking char behind it. Two bookshelves were behind it filled with all kinds of books. I turned around and looked at Jasper.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked shocked.

"Of course not. You know I don't mind sharing a space with you. This way you have somewhere to do your school work and do your writing."

I stared at him for a moment longer before launching myself into his arms. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me slightly off the floor.

"I want you to be happy." He whispered in my ear.

I got a weird tingly feeling in my stomach as his breath brushed past my skin. I pulled back and looked at him thinking maybe he had sent it to me. I wasn't sure what the emotion was. His face was about two inches from mine and my breathe caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. All I could see where his lips. They were perfectly shaped and glistened in the light coming through the window. I quickly pealed my eyes away and let myself go from him.

"Uh, thank you. Let's go check out the rooms." I turned on my heel and made a beeline for the hallway.

He was quickly behind me and opened the next door in the hallway. It was clearly my room. There was a huge four poster queen sized bed in the middle of the room. Dark purple bedding covered it. A rocking chair sat in one corner and there were dressers and bookshelves lining the walls. I walked over to one of the shelves, which had pictures set on it. I picked up one of me and Edward. It had been taken when we were at the house with the family. He was sitting on the couch and I was sitting on his lap laugh. We were both laughing. A tear slid down my cheek.

"Esme figured you would like those in here." Jasper's voice was quiet from the doorway.

I nodded not looking away. I sat the picture back down and picked up the one next to it. It was one of me and Jasper from about a week ago. We were sitting on that same couch next to each other. His arm was around the back of me and we seemed to be staring at something off to the side. Apparently, unaware to the camera in our face. I couldn't help the flutter in my stomach again. We looked so comfortable. I continued to look at it for a long moment trying to get the right word. There was a word that described our pose and I couldn't get it to bubble up. Finally it hit me. Natural. It looked natural.


	3. Chapter 2

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 2: New Beginnings**

I placed the picture back on the shelf as the tingling in my stomach faded. I turned around to say something to Jasper, but he was gone. Confused, I walked down the hallway to the last door. I knocked softly before opening it. Jasper was laying back on the bed staring out the big window in from of him.

"Nice room." I said softly.

"Thank you. Not much different from the last house." He smiled over at me.

"You ok?" I asked walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.

"Yeah. You just seemed to be having a moment and I wanted to give you your space."

"A moment?" I asked him.

"Reminiscing on you and Edward." There was a new emotion in his voice that I couldn't place.

"I was actually holding our picture there when you left."

Silence. That was all I got. I looked up at him and he was back to staring at the wall. I waited a few moments, but he didn't say anything. Finally, I stood up and turned to leave. A hand grabbed onto my wrist. I turned and looked and he was looking back at me. He gave me a little tug and I walked back over to the bed. He scooted his body over so there was room for me next to him so I crawled on the bed and curled up along his side. This was not abnormal. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. We watched the sky grow darker and darker before I felt my eyes get heavy and I succumbed to the darkness.

Everyone had settled in nicely to the new house and things were getting back to normal. Jasper had been hunting a lot and running errands so I had been spending a lot of time in my room or hanging out with Rosalie. The memories hurt more because I had more time to think about them with all the time I had been spending alone. One afternoon I wandered downstairs into the living room trying to find something to entertain my mind. The house was silent. Esme, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Emmett were out hunting. Jasper had apparently run into town to pick up some stuff. Esme had told me that as she was leaving. He seemed to be avoiding me. I sat down on the couch and flipped through the channels looking for something interesting to watch. Nothing good was on so I flipped the TV off. I stood up and walked over to the mantle. There were pictures lining it. I picked up one of Edward sitting at the piano playing. I felt the all too familiar pain in my chest and the tears gather at my eyes. I sat the picture back where it belonged and slid down to the floor pulling my knees to my chest. I buried my head in my hands on my knees and let the sobs escape. I rocked my body back and forth trying to sooth the pain.

I just want it to get better. I just want Jasper back. I wanted him to comfort me. The pain went away when I was with him. I wanted to know what I had done for him to feel the need to avoid me. A fresh wave of sobs broke through and I let them come out as loud as they wanted. I don't know how long I sat there before I heard someone enter the room.

"Bella?" The voice was familiar.

I turned my head and let it rest on my knees as I looked up at Jasper standing there. He looked concerned.

"What did I do?" I asked and broke down all over again.

He bent down and picked me up pulling me back to the couch to sit with him and pulled me into his lap. I buried my head in his shoulder and cried until I didn't feel like I could cry any more. My eyes were puffy and my breathing was irregular. Jasper simply sat quietly and rubbed small circles on my back knowing that I just had to get it out. When I settled down a little he cleared his throat to speak.

"What do you mean what did you do?" his voice was soft and soothing.

"What did I do to make you want to ignore me?"

"Oh, Bella. I am sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I just thought that you maybe wanted space."

"Why would I want that?" I pulled away and looked at him.

He simply looked at me for a long moment.

"I just thought that maybe… I don't know. I just wanted to give you time. I'm sorry. I don't want you to think I don't want to spend time with you because I do. I miss you too." He reached up and wiped a tear away from my eye.

"Can we then? Hang out? It hurts when you aren't around." I said motioning to my chest.

"Of course. We will have plenty of time anyway because this weekend we are all going to Denali to visit Tanya and her family. They are having a… vampire soiree type of thing. A party of sorts."

"Is that safe?" I asked knowing that there were not many people who were part of the vegetarian diet.

"Yes. Nobody is going to touch you. I promise."

I studied him a moment.

"You're really not mad at me?"

He pulled my face down to his and kissed me gently on the cheek before pulling away. Those familiar tingles fluttered in my stomach.

"I could never be mad at you. You've helped me so much more than I could ever explain."

"The feeling is mutual."

"So, why don't you go pack? I will be there to help as soon as I am done packing mine."

"Pack? When are we leaving?"

He stood up pulling me with him and then letting me go once I was steady.

"Tonight when the others get home from hunting."

Tanya's house was beautiful. It was set back in the woods a couple miles from town. It was wooden and fit in perfectly. There were many cars in the driveway when we got there meaning that the party was already starting. I stepped out of the car and was instantly nervous. The last time I had hung out with non vegetarian vampires one tried to kill me.

"You'll be ok Bella." Emmett said patting me on the shoulder as he walked by.

"Come on." Jasper walked up beside me placing his hand on my back and urging me forward.

"I don't think I can do this." I said digging my heels into the ground and bringing us both to a stop.

Jasper took a step in front of me putting both of his hands on my shoulders.

"Bella, do you trust me?" He asked looking intently at my face.

"Of course I trust you. It's them I don't trust."

"Would I ever in a million years let someone hurt you?"

"Well, no."

"Trust me Bella. You are going to be safe. I won't leave your side."

I faltered a moment.

"Bella, I won't let anything happen. I've lost enough. I won't lose you too."

Something flickered in his face and I couldn't help but get the butterflies in my stomach. I nodded lightly and allowed him to lead me forward. We entered the front door to find a houseful of vampires. You could tell just by looking at them. We weren't even two steps in the house when every eye in the room turned and looked at me. I felt Jasper bring his arm around me and pull me up against his side. A woman with long strawberry blonde hair came walking toward us slowly. I realized she was trying to be cautious so as not to scare me.

"You must be Bella. I've heard a lot about you over the last year." Her voice was like bells.

"And you are Tanya." I said nodding in acknowledgement.

Edward had told me about her many times. She was more beautiful than I had pictures. My chest ached a little.

"I am. It is nice to finally meet you. Edward told me a lot about you. I'm sorry for your lost." I flinched at the sound of his name and Jasper gently squeezed my side.

"Well, we have some rooms set up for you guys. Jasper informed me that you two would be sharing a room so we put you guys out at the guest house to make you more comfortable. Rosalie and Emmett will be in the other room out there."

I turned and looked at Jasper who shrugged. He picked up my bag and led me through the crowd of people who seemed to be watching me with curiosity and headed out the back door. Emmett and Rosalie were exiting the guest house and heading back to the main house.

"Hurry up Bella. It's time to party." She said as they ran by us.

I laughed a little and made my way into the house. It was cute. I checked the refrigerator and it was empty. I made a note to go to the store first thing in the morning for food to last the weekend. I turned and followed the hallway down to the rooms. I found Jasper hanging some clothes in the closet.

"Get settled." He motioned to my bag on the bed.

I sat down and watched him instead of unpacking. He had his back to me and was taking clothes out of his bag and putting them in the closet. He was wearing a pair of nice fitting jeans and a tight black shirt. I watched his muscles flex under his shirt and felt the butterflies in my stomach. What did they mean? I didn't think about what I was doing, but got up and walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his back. He hung up the item in his hand and then placed his hands over mine. I stood there for a moment just feeling his cold skin through his shirt and breathing in his comforting scent. He slowly turned around and wrapped his arms around my shoulders pulling me up against him and resting his head on top of mine. I rested my forehead on his chest.

"What's this for?" He asked softly.

My heart fluttered again at his words.

"Being you." I whispered so lightly someone with normal hearing wouldn't have heard.

My heartbeat had picked up and it was a familiar feeling. It used to happen all the time when I was with Edward. He pulled away slightly and lifted my chin with his finger. He didn't say anything. He just stared at me. His finger moved and traced my jaw line sending chills down my spine. It was getting harder to breath as I stared up at him. I let my eyes wander to his lips and the perfect curves. Part of me was screaming to look away, but the biggest part of me wanted to pull him down to me and kiss those perfect lips. Seeming to read my thoughts he slowly started to lower his head toward me.

"Bella! Come on!" Rosalie's voice boomed through the house.

He dropped his arms and took a step away from me not breaking his gaze. I looked away first and flattened my shirt for something to do. Rosalie walked into the room a second later grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the door.

"You can unpack later." She said turning her back and dragging me behind her.

I turned sideways and looked at Jasper. He was running a hand over his face and sighed before making eye contact just as I was dragged out of the room.


	4. Chapter 3

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 3: Working Through It**

Rose dragged me into the house where music was blasting and people were scattered in random conversations. She handed me a cup of soda that they had brought just for me and we made our way over to the couch. We sat for a while talking and laughing about random things and stories that Kate and Tanya were telling us. Esme slipped me an envelope and I looked up at her.

"I forgot to give these to you earlier. They are pictures from this past week. I thought you would like them." She smiled and took a seat next to me.

I opened them up and flipped through them. There were a lot of pictures of Rosalie and Emmett and Esme and Carlisle. Then I got to the pictures that made me smile. It was me sitting at my new desk in the study and smiling. Another one was me jumping on my new bed laughing. I smiled bigger when I got to the next two. One was me lying on my bed and Jasper was sitting on me tickling me. I was laughing with tears on my face. The next one was Jasper standing behind me with his arms around my waist and his head resting on my shoulder. I had my head turned and was smiling at him.

"Jas! About time you joined us," Tanya yelled.

I turned and watched him walk in the living room. He avoided my eyes and high fived Emmett before sitting on the empty couch across from us. I smiled at him hoping he would see me. I didn't want it to feel awkward. After looking around at everyone he let his eyes rest on me. I smiled at him and he gave me a crooked smile back. I jumped up quickly and ran over and sat right next to him. I snuggled my back up to his side and he brought his arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze.

"Look. Esme gave me some new pictures." I held them up so he could see them and looked up at his face.

He chuckled at them and looked down at me. I winked at him and he smiled. I adjusted myself so I was facing him better. He glanced at the family who was not paying attention at all before looking back at me.

"Breathe," I said laughing.

"You are awful calm."

"It's time to have fun. We can work on that later," I said getting serious.

"Ok."

Just then someone called that my pizza had arrived. I jumped up and went into the kitchen to get a few slices. When I came back Emmett was putting Knocked Up into the DVD player. Everyone had made themselves comfortable around the living room and Jasper was sitting sideways on the couch with his legs stretched out in front of him. As I got closer he pulled his legs up and bent them at the knees. He patted the cushion and I made myself comfortable between them. The movie started and I practically inhaled my pizza. When I was done I sat the plate on the table and snuggled my head back against his neck. He wrapped his arms around over mine. I tilted my head up and kissed his neck softly. He glanced down at me and leaned to lay an equally soft kiss on my cheek. I smiled at him before turning my attention back to the TV. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Carlisle and Esme were both looking at us and smiling. I couldn't help but turn my head and look at them. Esme's smile reached her eyes and I had to smile back. Carlisle seemed to chuckle a little, which caused Jasper to turn his head and look at them. He looked at them for a moment before looking down at me again and smiling. I smiled and turned my head back towards the TV. Music drifted in from the other room as people were dancing around. I recognized Allison Krauss' 'You Say It Best When You Say Nothing At All' filter through. Jasper seemed to reposition himself and I felt his breath on my neck. I turned my head a bit and he started singing lightly in my ear.

_It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart._

_ Without saying a word you can light up the dark._

_ Try as it may I could never explain,_

_ What I hear when you don't say a thing._

_ The smile on your face lets me know that you need me._

_ There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me._

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall._

_ You say it best… when you say nothing at all._

I turned my head a little more so I could see him. I had my head facing the back of the couch so the others couldn't see my face. He bent his head down a little more and kissed below my ear softly before continuing on.

_All night long I can hear people talking about._

_ But when you hold me near, you drowned out the crowd._

_ Poor Mr. Webster could never define,_

_ What's being said between your heart and mine._

_ The smile on your face lets me know that you need me._

_ There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me._

_ The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall._

_ You say it best… when you say nothing all._

My heart stuttered a bit listening to him and watching him. I traced my hand down his arm and found his hand. My fingers pulled it away from his other and intertwined my fingers with his. I turned my body so I was lying sideways and rested my head on his chest as the song continued to play.

A million thoughts ran through my head. What was going on between us? I knew that my feelings were stronger than just brotherly. I felt nothing for Emmett the way I felt for Jasper. A painful tear resonated through me at this thought. What kind of person was I if I fell for Jasper? I loved Edward. I would always love Edward. This would be the ultimate betrayal. Not only to him but to my best friend. There was no way to pursue this and not feel guilty beyond belief. My final verdict on my feelings was that I was scared. Downright terrified at what I was getting myself into and if I would be able to dig my way out if I got hurt again.

After the movie I unwrapped myself from Jasper and pulled myself to standing. I stretched my arms over my head.

"Hey Jas, play me in Call of Duty," Emmett said.

"Yeah, sounds good." Jasper gave me a small smile and made his way over to the Xbox with Emmett.

Esme walked over to me pulling me into a hug. I laughed.

"What's this for?"

"I haven't seen him smile like that since Alice." She whispered in my ear.

I looked at Jasper over her shoulder as she said this and his head flipped around rather quickly and looked dead at me.

"Well…" I didn't know what to say, especially with him looking at me like that.

A million answers filtered through my head and I decided to just go with the one that held the most truth.

"I love him. What can I say?" I whispered back.

She pulled me back away from her and away from my gaze on Jasper who seemed to take a quick gasp of air at my words. I couldn't be sure though. I looked at Esme standing there in front of me.

"Don't feel bad about that either. No matter to what extent you mean it," Esme said staring intently at me with her golden eyes.

I nodded my head as she released me.

"I think it is bedtime for the human," I said laughing lightly.

"Would you like someone to come with you?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh, no. I'll be ok. I'm just going to take a shower and go right to bed. I'll see you all in the morning."

Esme gave me another quick hug before Carlisle pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you," He said softly.

I looked at him as we pulled away, but he didn't clarify. I hugged rose and then Emmett who was sitting in the recliner playing Xbox.

"Don't think I have forgotten that I owe you from last week woman."

"I'm holding you to it Em," I said slapping him on the back.

Jasper was sitting in the other chair with a controller in his lap. I bent down and hugged him before kissing his cheek.

"See you guys later," I said and made my way out to the guest house.

I grabbed all my toiletries and took a quick shower. Afterwards I pulled the blankets back and slid between the sheets. I pulled the comforter up around me and drifted off to sleep rather quickly.

The next morning I woke to a note saying that the Cullen's had gone hunting and that Tanya was in the house if I needed anything. I slipped into a pair of jeans and t-shirt and made my way into the house. I grabbed Jasper's keys to the car and let Tanya know I was running into town to get some food.

On the way back from the grocery store I stopped and got a frozen coffee from the local Starbucks. When I got back I was grabbing the grocery bags out of the trunk when a gust of wind made me turn. Jasper was standing there looking very angry.

"Well, good morning to you too," I said giving him a dirty look and grabbing the rest of my bags.

"There are dozens of vampires lurking around the area and you go to the grocery store by yourself?" He sounded angry.

"I was fine, Jasper."

"And what if you weren't? Do you have any idea what that would do to me?"

I stopped what I was doing and looked up at him. I saw the pain flickering through his angry façade. I sat the bags back in the trunk and stood in front of him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I just went to get food so I would have something to eat."

"Bella… I…" He was struggling with words. "You mean more to me than I think you realize." His face dropped down to look at our feet.

"I think you underestimate me. There has been a lot going on in our lives lately, but I'm not blind," I said the words soft hoping not to freak him out.

He nodded and he lifted his head, but looked off to the side. I stretched up on my toes and kissed his cheek almost at the corner of his mouth. He turned his head and looked at me in shock.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to worry you. That is the last thing I would want to do."

He pulled me into a hug with one hand on my lower back and the other in my hair holding my face to the side of his face and his mouth right by my ear.

"Just be careful. You're still breakable."

We pulled apart and he grabbed the bags out of the trunk and we headed inside not saying anything else.


	5. Chapter 4

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 4: Victoria**

The last month had gone by smoothly. We had returned home after the weekend at Tanya's and life went back to normal. I spent a lot of time catching up on school work and finishing up my diploma from home. I wrote a lot in my journal and went shopping with Rosalie. Emmett was trying to teach me to box, but I was not doing too well at that. Jasper and I had remained the same. We seemed to be a lot more affectionate towards each other and I would kiss him on the cheek regularly or we would just cuddle while watching a movie. I am not sure that either of us was up for telling the other what we were feeling. I can honestly say, though, that the butterflies had continued and my heart fluttered when he looked at me. I was trying to come to grasp with the fact that I might be falling for Jasper. I knew Edward loved me and would want me to be happy.

I walked out onto the back patio and found Rosalie sitting there drawing.

"Hey Rose," I said walking over to her.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"Where is everyone?"

"The boys went hunting, Esme is in her room looking over color swatches and Carlisle is in his office working."

"That's fun." I gazed off to the mountains loosing myself in my thoughts.

"You look like you have something on your mind."

I looked at her and she had set her pencil down and was staring at me intently.

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I don't even know where to begin."

"It's about Jas isn't it?" She said smiling.

"Yeah," I sighed and let my head fall back.

"You guys have a lot there. He cares about you a lot Bella. I can see it. Esme is right. He looks at you the same way he used to look at Alice."

"That's the problem." I looked over at her.

"Alice?"

"And Edward. I feel like if I was to act on these feelings that it would be a form of betrayal. Who falls in love with their dead boyfriend's brother or their dead best friend's husband?"

"Love?" Her eyebrows rose as she looked at me.

"I don't know what else it could be. I get the same feelings I use to when Edward would walk in the room. I get happy when he is around and butterflies whenever he looks at me."

"Yup, that's love."

"I can't do that to Edward," I whispered.

"Bella, look. I know me and Edward didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things and that me and you have not always been the closest, but when it came to you all he wanted was your happiness. I know that Edward and Alice are up in heaven looking down on us and he is so proud of you."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes listening to her.

"You are an amazing person. I don't know _any _human that could live with a houseful of vampires and not be terrified, yet you do it like it is normal."

"It is to me."

"I know that. That is just part of you though. You are accepting, forgiving, caring, loving, and those are all the reasons Edward loved you. You are so selfless that you are willing to give up your one last chance for true love because you think that Edward wouldn't approve. I can tell you this. If there was one person that Alice would want to take care of Jasper in her absence it would be you. She wouldn't have saved you if that wasn't the case. She knew what was going to happen. She sees the future remember. She did everything in her power to make sure that you were not caught so you could come back here and help pick up the pieces. I don't think we could have done it without you."

"Thank you Rose, but Alice seeing it as ok for me to be with Jasper is not ok with Edward."

"I think he would have been. I think he would have been happier to be here himself, but because that is not possible, I think he would be more than happy with this. Jasper is the closest to Edward in personality. Edward would have practically begged Jasper to take care of you in this situation."

"Maybe that is why he is doing it. Maybe that is all that it is."

"No, he loves you. I can see it."

"Oh jeesh! What am I going to do?" I said rolling my head back and forth.

"You are going to tell him at some point. Just take your time. There is no rush. You have eternity."

Just then we heard the front door slam and Carlisle and Esme appeared at the bottom of the stairs.

"Where is she?" Carlisle asked.

Me and Rose got up and went inside the house to stand in the living room.

"She is circling the area," Emmett said.

"What is going on?" Rose asked walking over to Emmett.

"Victoria is here," He said glancing over at me.

It felt like my heart stopped. I could feel the horror showing through on my face.

"We are going to get her, Bella," Carlisle said looking at me.

"We have to go now. Esme, you stay with Bella," Emmett said.

My eyes scanned everyone as the rushed around making sure they had everything they would need. My eyes landed on Jasper and a sob seemed to escape my throat. He quickly walked over to me and wrapped me in a hug. I squeezed him tighter than ever.

"Don't go," I whispered into his chest.

He pulled back so he could look me in the face.

"I have to. I have to take care of this myself."

"Please, I can't lose you."

"You are not going to lose me." He took my face in between his hands.

"What if she hurts you? Please, Jasper, please, please, please." I was begging and I didn't care.

"I promise you I am coming back. I am not going to leave you alone."

I nodded my head as my breathing came out in gasps. He pulled me back to him and held my face against his.

"I promise."

I pulled my head back so I was looking him dead in the face. My eyes searched his trying to show him everything I was feeling. I knew he could feel the love I had realized I had for him blowing off me in waves.

"I know," He whispered.

He brought his face to mine and kissed my cheek where the corner of my mouth was. I so badly wanted to kiss him just then and give him a reason to come back, but I held off. He held his lips there for a moment before pulling back. He went to turn away and I grabbed him and kissed his cheek before letting him go.

"Go, but keep your promise," I said pushing him toward the door.

He nodded and turned with the others and they all ran out of the house. Esme came over and wrapped her arm around me.

"They are going to be fine. She is no match for all of them." She led me to the couch and we sat down.

I curled up against her and rested my head on her shoulder.

"If he comes back ok, I swear I am never letting him go again." I whispered.

"So you do love him." She said smiling down at me.

"It's hard to say because I feel like I am betraying Edward and Alice, but yes, with all my heart."

"Edward and Alice would be happy for you. Edward would want you to be happy and he would be thrilled that it was Jasper who could make you happy. I know my son, trust me."

"Thank you Esme. That means a lot to me."

"You know he feels the same way right?" she asked.

"I know he feels something."

"No, I see it. The same way I see it in you. I see the way he looks at you when you aren't looking back. He loves you just as much."

"Well, maybe we will get the chance to share that if he comes back."

"When my dear… not if."

I had watched TV with Esme for a while and then escaped upstairs. Esme went back into her room to look at blueprints. I was about to go into my room and changed my mind going down the hall to Jasper's. I opened the door and was hit by his scent. I took a deep breath allowing it to consume everything in me. I wandered in and started looking around. I realized that I had never taken the time to look around his room. I walked over to the book shelves he had against the walls. They had books of every kind, magazines, and pictures. I smiled at one of Alice that he had. She was holding two handfuls of shopping bags and looked ecstatic. He had a few pictures of Carlisle and Esme and Rosalie and Emmett. I stopped at the far end of the bookshelf and picked up one that brought tears to my eyes. It was of me and Edward standing in the backyard. He had his arms lightly thrown over my shoulder and we were both smiling up at the camera. I ran my finger down Edward's body as a few tears slipped out. I wiped them away with the back of my hand and put the picture back on the shelf. I turned around and crawled onto the bed. I sprawled out on my stomach and took a few deep breaths to even it out. I turned my head and looked at the nightstand. There was a single picture frame sitting on it. I reached out and took it. It was the picture that Esme had given me of me and him in the living room. He was standing behind me with his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder. I smiled at it. I glanced at the clock sitting there on the table. It had been a few hours since they left. I couldn't help, but be worried. Edward had left and just as I thought I was going to get him back he was ripped away, literally. I was so worried the same thing was going to happen with Jasper. I was so close to opening up completely and here he was putting himself in danger.

"Bella!" Esme called up to me.

I jumped up and ran down the stairs. She was in the living room looking out the window.

"Yes, Esme," I said walking toward her.

"Look." She pointed out the window.

I walked over to her and looked out the window. At first I didn't see anything; Just the empty driveway. I kept looking and a second later Carlisle, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie rounded the curve up the driveway walking. A huge smile broke across my face. I walked over and opened the door and ran down the steps. Jasper and Emmett were high fiving each other and laughing. Rosalie nudged Jasper with her elbow and he looked up. I took off across the driveway toward him trying to concentrate on not falling, but wanting to get to them as fast as possible. A huge smile broke across his face and I felt my heart skip a beat. He took two big steps and I was close enough so I flung myself at him. I jumped into his open arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and I buried my face in his neck as tears, once again, burst out.

"Why are you crying? I'm ok. I told you I would keep my promise," He whispered into my hair.

"They are happy tears," I sobbed.

"Well, I guess that is good," He laughed as he ran his hands up and down my back.

"Jas…" I trailed off.

"Bella?"

I pulled back so I could look at him. He had a smile across his face and his eyes wrinkled at the corners. He looked so happy. I brought one of my hands up and traced the slightly purplish circle below his eye.

"I…" I was struggling to get this out.

This would change everything. If everyone was wrong and he didn't look at me the same way then this could potentially destroy me.

"What is it?" His smile faded a little as he searched my eyes for something.

I know the only emotion rolling off of me right now was angst or worry. He tilted his head slightly waiting for me to say something. It put him at the perfect angle. Before I could contemplate my decision I lowered my head to his and kissed him. I was so worried that he was going to push me away. His lips were ice cold and hard against mine, but mine seemed to shape to his perfectly. All the doubt faded away when I felt his lips respond and they started moving in sync with mine. I was mildly shocked when I felt his tongue trace my lips as if asking for permission. This is a line me and Edward had never crossed. My lips tingled where his tongue had touched. I let my mouth fall open and his tongue instantly took the access and started tangling with mine. An involuntary moaned climbed out of my throat and vibrated through ours. I heard someone clear their throat and I pulled away sharply forgetting that we had viewers. I buried my head in embarrassment in his shoulder and he laughed.

"Emmett, give the poor girl a break for a change." Carlisle scolded.

"Let's go talk." Jasper said into my ear.

I nodded and let him carry me toward the house.


	6. Chapter 5

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 5: Opening Up**

I unhooked my legs from around him and allowed him to lower me to the floor once we had made it safely to his room. I took a step back and sat down on the edge of the bed trying to gain my bearings. Jasper stood exactly where he had put me down just watching me. I took a deep breath and let it out of my lips slowly. Jasper laughed and I looked up at him.

"Do you know how cute you are when you are nervous?" A smirk still played on his face.

"Glad I could entertain you."

He laughed again and took a few steps toward me until he was standing right in front of me. He held his hand out and I took it while he pulled me up to standing. He held my hand up in front of myself and hooked his fingers in between mine. I watched him closely as he did this with both of our hands. When he was done playing with them he lowered each to hang loosely between us. He smiled before leaning forward and kissing me gently. When he pulled back he smiled at me again.

"I have been waiting to do that for a while now," He whispered.

"How long?" The words were barely audible.

"Since Tanya's."

"I'm scared," I said taking on a serious tone.

"What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared that this is going to mess up our relationship. I am scared that I'm going to get hurt again, no offense. I am scared that Alice would be mad at me. I am scared Edward is going to be disappointed in me. I am scared about all these feelings I am having."

"Baby listen to me. There is nothing in this world that could mess up this relationship. You are stuck with me forever. Don't be scared about me hurting you because it won't happen. I won't hurt you and I won't leave you. Do not, for a second, think that Alice would be mad at you. I knew her the best and I can say that she would be happy you are taking care of me. Happy that you make me happy. And I do not think there is a thing in this world that could make Edward be disappointed in you. You are amazing and he loves you from wherever it is he is watching from. He would want you to be happy and not sit around wasting life on the possibility of disappointing him. It won't happen. And I totally understand the feelings. They are unexpected and brilliant at the same time. I am starting to feel hole again."

"Me too, but a part of me wants to leave that spot for Edward forever. Just a part of it."

"I wouldn't want anything less. He was a huge part of you and who you are. Same as Alice was for me. That is just one more thing to make us better."

"You called me baby," I whispered blushing.

"You are right. I did." He smiled at me.

"I kind of liked it."

I lifted our hands that were intertwined and brought them up around his neck. He released them and I pulled myself up against him.

"I think I could get use to this," He said running his hands up and down my arms.

"Shut up and kiss me."

He raised his eyebrows for second before smiling and leaning his head down. The cold hard contact sent another shock through my system. I felt my body reacting as I pulled him as hard against me as possible. A low growl escaped his lips and I opened mine to give his tongue access. He deepened the kiss as our tongues tangled together. He lowered his hands to my hips and slowly pushed me back as he walked with me. The back of my legs hit the bed and he scooped me up without breaking the kiss to lay me down in the center of the bed. He broke the kiss for a moment to reposition himself between my legs and had a hand on each side of my head. I looked up at him and smiled.

"This is incredibly sexy," I said.

"You have no idea."

He lowered himself down again so his body was resting on mine and starting kissing me again. I let my hands wander his body. When I got to the bottom of his shirt I hesitated a second before slowly unbuttoning it until I was back up by his neck. I slid my hands up his cold perfect chest and down his shoulders pushing the shirt with me. He lifted each arm without breaking the kiss to get rid of the shirt

"Now, I don't think this is fair." He said teasing.

I pushed on his chest to make him roll off me. Once he was I quickly flipped over and straddled his hips.

"Aggressive Bella. I like it." His hands were resting on my hips.

I lifted my arms straight up above me and smiled at him.

"What are you doing?" He laughed.

"You said it wasn't fair. I am giving you permission to make it fair," I said trying to keep a straight face.

His smile dropped quickly as he studied my face intently.

"Bella, I am not forcing you to do anything you don't want to."

I lowered my arms and leaned down to his neck laying kisses along his neck and jaw. He moaned lightly.

"I want your hands on me. I want to feel your skin on mine. I want to feel your lips on me," I said sitting back up at looking down at him.

"Damn!" he said.

I lifted my arms above my head again waiting. He slid his hands up my thighs and hips and grabbed the bottom. He gently lifted it up over my head and tossed it in the corner. I lowered my hands back down to my sides. Jasper ran his eyes along my body. I had on a black lacy braw that left nothing to the imagination.

"You are so beautiful," He whispered.

He flipped me over again and kissed me passionately all the while his hands were roaming my torso. He broke the kiss and moved to my neck. Slowly he made his way down to my collar bone. I moaned and arched my body at the sensation. I could feel his hardness in his pants between my legs. He kissed down farther until he got to my bra. His hands came up and snaked behind my body causing me to arch toward him. I felt him unclip my bra before and as he brought his hands around front, he pulled the straps down until he discarded that, too, in the corner. He lowered his kisses down until he reached my right breast. I gently rubbed it with his hand before lowering his mouth over it. His tongue flicked out across my nipple and a tingly feeling spread over my chest intensifying the feeling. My whole body arched under him and he pulled away to look at me.

"Are you ok?"

"I am more than ok. I think the venom leaves a tingly feeling on my skin and it makes everything like, ten times better."

"What do you mean you think?" He looked confused.

"Well, I am assuming that is what that is."

He sat up suddenly looking down at my face.

"You and Edward never…" he trailed off.

"No, he was scared of hurting me."

"What have you done?" he asked.

"Nothing. Just kiss. No tongue." I was getting nervous at his reaction.

He turned around and sat on the edge of the bed. I felt the rejection course through me and I jumped up and grabbed my bra and shirt. He was on the side of the bed facing the wall, so I covered myself with the clothes and headed to the door.

"Bella, wait… don't..." I cut him off there.

"No, I get it. Don't worry." I flung the door open and ran to my room shutting and locking the door behind me.

I slid down the door and let the tears flow. I felt like I had been doing nothing but crying lately. There was a sharp knock on the door.

"Bella, let me in. Don't cry please." Jasper's voice was soft through the door.

"Just leave me alone." I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but mine had been pretty damaged in the crossfire already.

A second later I heard a gentle set of footsteps.

"Get out of here. Are you crazy? What were you thinking?" I heard Rosalie scold Jasper.

"I didn't mean it like that; I was just taken off guard."

"You men are such idiots. Bella, can I come in. I promise I won't let Jasper or anyone else in."

I stood up and unlocked the door before walking toward the bed. I heard the door open and close and lock again. A moment later Rosalie was sitting next to me.

"What happen?" she said noticing I was still topless and covering myself.

"I thought he wanted me."

"He does want you. It's just surprising to a lot of us that you and Edward never did any of that."

"He was so nervous about hurting me."

"I know that now. Why don't you rest and get a good sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a rough one." Rosalie patted my shoulder

I looked at her confused and her calm façade broke a little.

"Tomorrow would be a year for you and Edward."

"Oh." I swallowed hard trying to keep myself composed.

"I figured you would have remembered."

"I did. I just got sidetracked with everything going on today."

"Yeah. Get some rest and I will check on you tomorrow."

I nodded and she left the room. I let the thought sink in of what tomorrow would be like. I knew that it would be ok if I was feeling how I had been earlier in the day. But with everything that went on I knew tomorrow was going to be bad. So I walked over to my closet and did something I hadn't done in a while. I slipped into a pair of shorts and one of Edward's t-shirts and crawled into bed.

I woke up for the third time. It was dark out again, so I knew I had slept the day away. I didn't want to be happy today. I wanted to mourn. I heard the all too familiar knock on the door.

"Bella, are you alright?" Rosalie called.

It was the fourth time today she had checked on me and the fourth time today that she had been ignored. They could tell just by listening that I was still breathing and my heart was beating. They didn't need to bother me by actually seeing me. Jasper had not stopped by the door yet. I figured he was out keeping himself busy as usual.

I closed my eyes and pictured the first day I saw Edward. I smiled at the image in my head. A huge sadness weighed on me at the thought of living the rest of my life without seeing him again. I started crying again. I cried for an hour before falling back into a fitful sleep.

_I was running across the courtyard of Voltera again. I could see Edward in the distance standing just one step away from the bright sunlight. I screamed his name as loud as I could, but he did not hear me. I continued to run for him, but it seemed like the farther I ran the farther away he got. I saw his foot lift to take the last step. I tried to push myself faster, but I wasn't fast enough. His body was yanked back out of the sunlight by two cloaked men._

I woke up hearing a blood curdling scream. I quickly realized that scream was mine. I broke down into tears. A moment later my door made a loud crack and my entire family burst through. Esme was first to my side.

"Bella, are you ok? What happened?" Esme pulled me to her chest and hugged me.

"It's my fault. I couldn't run fast enough." I sobbed against her.

I noticed a knowing look pass between everyone.

"It's ok Bella. We are all here. You are ok, it was just a nightmare." Esme's voice soothed me and I laid my head on her shoulder.

The room was silent as I took deep breaths trying to calm myself down. Emmett smiled at me and ducked out of the room hoping to give me privacy.

"I'll be in my study if you need me." Carlisle said.

Rosalie kissed my head and walked out. It was down to Esme and Jasper.

"Would you like us to leave you alone again? I will send Emmett to the store to get you a new door."

"No, I'm going to come out. What time is it?" I asked.

"It's, 6:30 in the morning."

"Oh, ok. I'm going to come get something to eat."

"Ok." I pushed the blankets away and stood up stretching.

Jasper seemed to be looking over my body sadly. I looked down and noticed I was still wearing Edward's shirt. I blushed and turned away from his gaze.

"We'll be downstairs when you are ready." Esme said and I heard them leave.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt I knew Jasper loved and went in the bathroom. After taking a quick shower I slipped down the stairs into the kitchen. Esme was there making breakfast. She slid me a plate and I devoured it quickly. I hadn't eaten at all the day before.

"Thank you Esme. It was delicious." I said sitting the plate in the sink.

"You are welcome Bella. What are you going to do today?" she asked.

"I think I need to spend some time with Jas. I overreacted the other day."

"I think he will like that. He has been sulking around for two days now."

"Do you know where I can find him?"

"He is out on the patio."

"Thank you."

I made my way out the back door and saw Jasper standing at the far end of the patio leaning on the railing. He seemed to be dazed. I quietly made my way over to him. He glanced over his shoulder as I got closer and then looked back out over the view. I closed the space between us with two strides and wrapped my arms around him from behind.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

He stood up and turned around to face me gently wrapping his arms around my waist.

"What do you have to be sorry about?"

"I overreacted a little. It's just that Edward use to push me away at the last second because he was so afraid to hurt me. I just had that familiar feeling of rejection and I didn't know how to handle it coming from you."

"I would never reject you."

"I know that. Like I said, I just overreacted."

"You are beautiful and I want you more than you know. It's just, apparently my venom has some other unknown side effects."

"So do you forgive me?" I asked lifting my head to have a better view of his face.

"Of course."

He brought one hand up to cup my face and traced small circles on my cheek. He lowered his head to mine slowly and pressed his lips to mine. The familiar shock and butterflies filled my body as I pulled myself closer to him. He pulled away a second later and buried his face in my hair as he lifted me up and turned around to sit me on the rail. I locked my legs around him and laid kisses along his neck. A low growl came from him and I smiled. He reached up and pushed my hair aside so he had access to my neck. He kissed the delicate spot behind my ear and I moaned lightly. My hands pushed up under the bottom of his shirt and ran my hands over his bare skin. He pulled back a little so he could look at me.

"I don't think on the patio is the best place for this." He growled in my ear.

"Me neither. Why don't we take a breath and go watch a movie or something. We can watch it in your room."

"Sounds good." He stepped back and I hopped down grabbing his hand in the process.

I tangled my fingers with his and we walked into the house and up the stairs to his room.


	7. Chapter 6

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 6: Home Alone**

I had my body curled up next to Jasper's on his bed as we watched Eagle Eye. There was a light knock on the door.

"Come in," Jasper called.

The door opened and Emmett was standing there.

"We are all going to go hunting. Would you like to come?" I knew this question was directed at Jasper.

"No, I hunted yesterday. And I don't want to leave Bella."

"Alright man. Call if you need anything." Jasper nodded and Emmett shut the door behind him.

We went back to watching the movie and just enjoying the company of the other. My mind was wandering. I wanted to know if they had any intention of changing me. I couldn't sit around and do nothing forever. Rosalie had made some comments about eternity lately.

"Jas?"

"Yes darlin'." His southern accent broke through and I smiled.

"Will you change me?"

He didn't answer so I looked up to see what his face would show. He simply stared at me with no emotions.

"Is that what you want?" His voice was soft and my stomach fluttered.

"Well, yeah. I use to ask Edward to do it, but he refused."

"Do you have a time frame in mind?"

"Actually, yeah." I felt the blush creep up.

"Why are you blushing my love?"

I pushed myself up to a sitting position so I was looking down at him.

"I have a few more human experiences I want to try first, but after that."

"Human experiences?" His left eyebrow raised in question.

"Well… you know." I blushed again and looked down at my hands.

"Are you talking sex?" he asked with his Texas drawl.

"No. Making love." I know it sounded corny, but I was past the point of caring.

"Ok." It wasn't a question or anything.

"I want to have that with you." I looked up through my eyelashes to gauge his reaction.

His eyes drifted to mine and he smiled.

"That is a big step." His voice was low and emotions unreadable.

"I know. I just know that I do love you and I want you to be the one to change me. I want to share all those experiences with you because you mean the most to me."

"And you are positive about this? No doubts what so ever?"

"None. I am absolutely positive." I made sure my answer sounded sure.

"Alright."

"Alright?" It seemed too easy. I was waiting for the fight I usually had with Edward.

"You are part of our family and if you want to be able to live forever with us then I will honor that. It has to be your choice because you want to though. We didn't have choices, so I want to make sure that you come into this life wanting it. Understanding it."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his softly at first and then put a little more intensity into it. I lifted my leg over his body so I was straddling him. His hands instantly went to my hips. I grinded my body against him and he groaned loudly. The familiar tingly sensation filled my mouth as our tongues snaked together. He ran his hands up my hips before flipping me over so he was leaning over me while pressed against my side. He left his hands on my hip as we continued to kiss. I pulled away a moment later so as to catch my breath. He dropped his mouth to my neck and started laying feather light kisses along it. He braced himself on his left arm and his right hand slid up under my shirt and cupped my breast in his hand causing my back to arch toward the touch. I moaned and he brought his face back up to mine smiling down at me.

"I do want you. I hope you know that."

"Well, then what are you waiting for?"

His mouth came back to mine and kissed me passionately. I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it up until he broke away so he could pull it off. He sat up on his knees between my legs and pulled me up by my hands. Once I was sitting, he lifted my shirt over my head and tossed it in the corner with his. Then he reached behind me and unclasped my bra before gently pulling it down my arms. He leaned forward and kissed me again while slowly pushing me back against the bed. I moaned as his cold skin pressed up against mine. His right hand came down and cupped my breast in his hand gently squeezing. I moaned into his mouth and arched toward him wanting more. He broke our kiss and kissed along my jaw, down my neck, and across my chest. When he reached my breast he sucked my nipple into his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. I gasped and gripped the sheets in my hands tightly. He switched sides for a moment before releasing them and coming back up to kiss me. After a very passionate kiss he pulled away and looked me straight in the eye.

"Do you trust me?" His voice was sweet and soft.

"With everything."

He sat up again on his knees and simply stared down my body for a moment. My knees were bent and one was on each side of him. He ran his hands up my legs from my ankles all the way to my hips. He slid them over to the button on my jeans and undid them with a quick flip of the finger. My heart skipped in my chest as excitement built in me. Jasper looked up at smiled at me knowingly. I knew he could feel everything I could. I watched his face intently as he slid the zipper down. He was concentrating hard and I could see the little wrinkle between his eyes that I loved. I watched his chest rise and fall with the unnecessary breathing he was doing. My eyes wandered over his abs and my stomach burned with need. I looked back up at him and his eyebrows were raised looking at me.

"Oh stop!" I laughed knowing he felt the lust running off of me.

He slid a finger in each side of my jeans and pulled them down slowly along with my underwear. I lifted my butt a little to assist him. Once they were fully off he lifted one leg up to him. He kissed my ankle and slowly made a trail down my leg stopping mid thigh. He picked up the other one and did the same thing. I could feel the moistness pooling at my center and I moaned watching him. I wanted my hands on him. He slid to my side and brought his lips down to mine. I wrapped my fingers through his hair trying to pull him as close as possible. I felt his hand trailing down my stomach lower and lower. I pulled away from the kiss and gasped as I felt a single finger slide between my wet folds and flick across my clit. My body arched up toward him. His eyes never left my face. He slid his finger farther down and slid one finger inside of me. A scream escaped my lips and I pressed my hips down toward his hands wanting more. My body was burning with a million different sensations. I turned my head to look at him. He had a small smile playing on his lips as he watched me intently. I brought my hand up and ran it along his jaw line. His eyes briefly rolled back in his head before opening again. I lifted my head slightly and he brought his face to mine as he slipped in a second finger. His thumb began to rub circles over my swollen bud causing a million sparks to fly through me. My hips were grinding in sync with his hand. The warmth in my stomach was spreading down my legs and I knew my body was searching for something. He curled his fingers up just as he broke the kiss and they brushed against some hidden nerves inside. My entire body exploded around me and I arched off the bed while my eyes rolled back in my head at the sensation. He continued to pump his fingers in and out until I came down from my climax. He bent and kissed me lightly on the lips.

He pushed himself up and crawled back over me between my legs. He tilted my head up and started kissing down my neck slowly making sure to spend adequate time on my breasts when he reached them. I felt the warmth starting to build all over again. He kissed his way down past my belly button and over onto my thigh. He lifted my left leg and sucked gently on the inside of it. After a moment of sucking he pulled back and seemed to be studying the inside of my thigh. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and he chuckled a little.

"I left you a hickey. My love bite." He winked at me before turning his attention back to my body.

He slid his arm under my body and cupped my ass in his hand pulling me toward him slightly. I watched as he lowered his head and I groaned so loud I was thankful no one was in the house when his tongue connected with my warm center. The sensation of the cold on warmth just intensified it. I felt my breathing pick up quickly as he ran his tongue along the entire length. My body arched involuntarily toward him. I heard myself whimpering as the tingling sensation spread across my center and down my thighs. I started to see little black dots.

"Breathe, Bella." Jasper whispered.

I gulped in air as moans and grunts escaped me.

"Oh Jasper. God that feels good." I tangled my hands in his hair.

"You taste so good, Bella. Better than I imagined."

His tongue pressed hard on my clit and I felt the pressure reaching an excruciating level.

"I think… oh god… I'm going…" I couldn't form a coherent sentence as stars seemed to erupt around me.

"Cum for me, darling," He said with his southern accent.

I felt a finger slip into me and curl up hitting that group of nerves at the same time he sucked hard on my clit. Another earth shattering orgasm took over my entire body as my toes curled and my hands flew up into my hair and my head arched back. He lapped up all my juices until I came down breathing extremely heavy. He slid up my body again and seemed hesitant. I grabbed his face and pulled him down to me to kiss him hard. I could taste myself on his lips, but it didn't bother me. It was intimate.

As we kissed I reached down and undid his belt buckle and button on his pants. I pushed on them and he wiggled a little to help me slide them down. He kicked them onto the floor at the end of the bed and I couldn't help but break the kiss and glance down. My heart faltered at his naked body. I had only seen pictures, but I was sure this was above average. Not ungodly huge, but definitely above average. He chuckled and I looked up at him.

"Fear?" he asked.

"It's just… well… big." I stumbled over my words.

"All you have to do is tell me to stop and I will."

"No, I'm just nervous with it being my first time and all."

He nodded and brought his face down to mine. I wrapped my arms around his torso below his arms, which were supporting his upper body from either side of my head. He leaned his weight on his left arm and brought his right hand to slide down my body. He rested it on my hip and I felt him position himself at my entrance. He pulled away again and looked me in the eye.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"I don't think I have ever been so sure of anything in my life. I am sure about anything that has to do with you." I was breathless.

"I'm sorry. It is going to hurt," He whispered.

"Oh! Don't I bleed? Isn't that going to be a problem?" I asked suddenly realizing that you are supposed to bleed when you lose your virginity.

"You trust me, right?"

"With my life."

"Tell me to stop if it hurts too badly." He licked his lips before kissing me.

He broke the kiss and watched my face as he slowly slid into me. It stung a little as his body stretched around to accommodate his size. He pressed in a little until I felt him hit my barrier. I nodded at him so he knew to continue and with a gently thrust he broke through. Pain shot through me and my eyes snapped shut and I knew pain covered my face.

"Bella, are you ok?" his voice was concerned.

"Just give me a minute to adjust."

I took deep breath and dug my nails into his back, which I knew he didn't feel. He held completely still as my body got use to him being there. After a few minutes the pain subsided and I pressed my hips against him showing him he could move again. He slowly pulled his hips back and slid almost completely out of me, before pushing back in. The pain was instantly covered by pleasure rippling through my body. I moaned and pressed my upper body against his chest. His mouth dropped open slightly and every once in a while his eyes would roll back. He never pulled away and he only kissed me on occasion. His eyes never turned from my face. I brought my hand up to trace his jaw and cheek bones.

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too." I could feel the overwhelming emotions filtering through us.

I knew this was me sharing my feelings with him and his concentration was down so he was sharing them back. As we went on his thrusts became more eager and faster.

"You are so tight," he groaned.

"Faster Jas."

I pressed my pelvis up to meet his every thrust. I so badly wanted to kiss him, but I wanted to watch the moment he reached his orgasm. The pressure was building quickly in my body. Every time he thrust into me his pelvis rubbed against my clit and shot electricity through me.

"Baby, I'm going to cum," I groaned digging my hands into his shoulders and my heels into his butt as I wrapped my legs around him pulling him deeper.

"I want to do it with you."

His thrusts became more urgent and he grabbed my hip again and pulled my hips up toward his with each thrust. I felt my walls clench around him and a second later my body clamped down on his as my orgasm shook my entire body. I felt him twitch inside of me and he thrust once more pulling my body tightly against his and burying his head in my hair.

"BELLA!" My name screamed from his lips and sent tingles down my spine at the beauty of it.

We clung to each other for a long moment waiting for our orgasms to die down. Once he was able to, he pushed himself up on his hands and kissed me passionately never leaving my body.

"You are amazing," I whispered to him.

He simply laughed.


	8. Chapter 7

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 7: Bliss**

We lay in bed for a long time afterwards just kissing and holding each other. We were both on our sides and our legs were tangled together as he traced circles on my arm.

"That face is going to be the death of me," He said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"You should see how absolutely stunning you look when you cum. It is beyond sexy." He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You do a pretty good job in the sexiness department too there Mr. Whitlock!"

"I like the sound of that."

"It is sexy. It fits," I said giggling.

"You are silly."

"So… I was thinking…" I trailed off.

"Uh oh… someone call the paramedics."

I slapped him on the arm and he laughed at me.

"I was thinking we should not tell your family yet."

His brows knit together in confusion and I thought I saw hurt flicker across his face.

"It's not that I want to hide it. I just want to see how long it takes someone to figure out we slept together." His face visibly relaxed.

"It won't take long. You are positively beaming."

"I think you might be a little bias," I joked.

"Might be true."

"You have a goofy grin plastered on your face, so it might not be just me who gives it away."

"True. I can't seem to stop smiling."

"Well, the family should be back soon so I should probably take a shower."

"What if I don't want you to leave?" he pouted.

"I was going to invite you, but if you don't want to…" I smiled knowing his reaction.

"I will more than happily take a shower with you gorgeous."

I slid out of the bed and heard a whistle as soon as I started making my way across the room toward the bathroom. I turned and looked to see him staring at my ass with a cocky smile and an eyebrow rose.

"Hate to see you go… love to see you walk away." He laughed at the cheesy line.

I flipped the shower on and peeked back out into the bedroom.

"Oh lover boy," I called mimicking dirty dancing.

He smiled and jumped up running into the bathroom at vampire speed. I burst out laughing as he slid us both in the shower together. He pushed me up against the tile wall and kissed me passionately. His hands slid down cupping my ass and lifting me up so I could wrap my legs around him. In one fluid movement he slid his entire length in me causing me to yelp in pleasure. His lips crashed down on mine again as he began to thrust in and out of me. It was no were near as gentle as the first time, but I liked it all the same. He was grunting with each thrust and I raked my nails down his back causing a loud groan to interrupt his grunts.

"Bella, I'm not going to be able to hold out much longer. You are so warm."

I clenched my walls around him and I felt him pulse inside of me as he thrust hard and spilled himself. At the sensation, my walls clamped around him and I gripped his shoulders as my own orgasm rode out. He released me as we came down and I stood up in front of him. My legs felt like jelly so he didn't let me go all the way. I stretched up and kissed him.

"That was hot." I mumbled against his lips.

He pulled away laughing. We hurried and washed our bodies as he assisted with washing my hair knowing the family would be home soon. When we were done we stepped out and he wrapped a towel around me before he wrapped one around his waist. I opened the bedroom door so I could go to my room and get some clothes out. He walked over to the closet and started selecting his outfit. I paused watching the muscles in his back move and the water drops glisten.

"Mmhhh." I involuntarily moaned and he turned his head to look over his shoulder at me.

"Love, are you looking at me like a piece of meat?" He said grinning.

"A very delicious chunk of meat," I said biting my bottom lip.

"What have I created?" He laughed walking over to me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me lightly.

"You need to go get dressed and then we need to feed you. It's five already."

"Five? We have been at this all day then."

"Is that bad?" he asked laughing.

"Not at all, it's just crazy to think about."

He kissed me one last time before turning me around and swatting me on the butt toward my room. I looked over my shoulder at him and made cat claws.

"Meow!" I laughed before running into my room.

I pulled vegetables out of the refrigerator and some fish from the freezer. Jasper came in and sat on a stool at the counter with a book. Just as I was getting ready to start cutting the vegetables I heard the door open and close. A moment later Esme and Carlisle appeared in the kitchen.

"Can I help you dear?" Esme asked grabbing her apron.

"If you want," I said.

She grabbed the fish and started to prep the pan and the fish for cooking.

Carlisle went over and patted Jasper on the shoulder.

"Did you kids have fun?" Carlisle asked as he sifted through a pile of paperwork sitting on the counter.

I peeked over my shoulder at Jasper who met my eyes and quickly looked away smiling.

"Yeah."

I cut up the vegetables and put them in water to boil. I started some rice to cook as well and thirty minutes later I sat down at the table. Jasper came over and sat beside me opening his book back up and going back to his reading. I ate quickly realizing how hungry I was. When I was done I took my plate to the sink and rinsed it before putting it in the dish washer. I rinsed my hands off and winked at Jasper before heading into the living room to find the others. I headed for Rose in the living room when I was suddenly swept off my feel from behind. I screamed and smacked Emmett's shoulder as he spun me around in a circle. I cracked up laughing as he started tickling me while spinning. After a minute he sat me down and I instantly stumbled back falling on my butt. Emmett looked at me for a moment before bursting into laughter. Rosalie came walking towards. I felt two arms scoop me up and turned to see Jasper smiling down at me. I could tell he was holding in a laugh.

"Go ahead, laugh at me. I know… I am the clumsy human," I said throwing my hands in the air.

He pulled me up against him and kissed me softly.

"You are my clumsy human," He whispered.

"Wait a minute…," Emmett said as I stepped away from Jasper.

Emmett's eyes were going back and forth between the two and a smile crept across his face.

"Oh!" He said jumping back a foot and pointing back and forth between us.

I glanced at Jasper who had that cheesy grin across his face again and I laughed knowing where this was going.

"Emmett, what is your problem?" Rose asked standing next to him and looking at us like she was suppose to instantly understand.

"You dog!" Emmett said laughing and walking over to high five Jasper.

I rolled my eyes but started laughing anyway.

"I told you that you would be the one to give it away," I said poking him in the side.

"Oh no little sister. You have that shit eating grin too!"

"I'm confused," Rosalie said sighing.

"Oh babe, don't you see it. Jasper nailed Bella."

"Emmett!" Jasper yelled. "Have some class!"

"Sorry, but look at you two. You have those goofy ass grins on your face. I'm surprised I didn't see it before."

I blushed and buried my head in Jaspers chest as he pulled me close.

"What is going on out here?" Esme said walking into the room.

"Oh man!" I groaned and completely turned myself so Jasper could wrap his arms around me.

"Come on Bella. Let me see you blush," Emmett teased.

"Leave her alone Emmett. I think it is romantic," Rose said.

"What is romantic?" Esme asked looking between me and Jasper and Emmett and Rose.

"Bella got laid," Emmett said grinning as I peaked out from under Jasper's arm.

Rose reached up and smacked him in the back of the head and the noise ricocheted all through the house. Esme turned and smiled at me and Jasper as Carlisle entered the room.

"Who wants to watch a movie?" he said as he entered.

"Honey, I think Jasper and Bella are really official," Esme said smiling at me again.

"You have got to be kidding me," I cried and turned and wrapped my arms around Jasper again.

He chuckled, but hugged me back.

"What do you mean official?" I heard Carlisle asked.

"Shoot me now," I groaned into Jasper's chest.

"Before Emmett can come with some other vulgar way of putting it… we have become intimate," Jasper said slowly.

Before I could control it I burst into laughter. Jasper pulled back and looked at me. I was struggling to breathe as tears poured down my face. Emmett started laughing too. I tried to get myself under control and I looked up at Jasper.

"You sounded so…. Old," I said bursting into a new fit of laughter.

Everyone in the room burst into laughter at this except for Jasper who had his mouth hanging open. A second later he flung me over his shoulder and threw me on the couch. He jumped on top of me and started tickling me.

"Stop… you are going to make me pee," I screamed trying to get free.

He stopped and smiled down at me. I was breathing heavily. He bent down and kissed the tears from my face then pulled me up so I was sitting on his lap. Carlisle walked over and patted me on the head.

"Don't be embarrassed by it, Bella. It is a lovely thing."

"Thank you Carlisle. I'm happy."

"I can see that and I am happy for you. It's about time you two find something to be happy about."

"So what movie are we going to watch?" Rosalie asked.

"I was thinking Yes Man."

"Yay! I haven't seen that," I said bouncing up and down.

I felt Jasper's breathing catch and I looked down at him. His eyes were burning with lust again and I leaned over to his ear.

"Calm yourself. You can wait until later," I said smiling.

"Yeah you kinky sex kitten you," Emmett said from the other couch.

I cringed and buried my head in my hands. I heard the opening of the movie started and Carlisle sat in the recliner next to Esme. Jasper turned and sat sideways on the couch and pulled me between his legs. I smiled up at him recognizing the familiar position. He bent and kissed my cheek and I kissed his neck and turned our attention to the movie.


	9. Chapter 8

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 8: And the Walls Cave In**

I came skipping down the stairs freshly showered and dressed. Emmett and Rose were playing guitar hero in the living room, so I waved at them. I walked out to the patio and smiled at Jasper sitting at the patio table reading a book.

"Hey gorgeous," I said kissing his cheek and sitting in the chair next to him.

"Hey yourself. Was your shower nice?"

"It was," I reached out and took his head and leaned my head back on the chair letting the sun warm my face even in the cold weather. Jasper went back to reading.

It had been a couple weeks and everything was going really well. Life had continued on as normal. I finished school finally and now had my diploma. Carlisle had been talking to me a lot about the local colleges to see if I wanted to go anywhere around here. I had not decided yet. I was just enjoying helping Esme around the house and spending time with Jasper. Rose and Emmett kept me entertained and I went shopping often with Rose. She would let me pick out my own stuff while giving me advice when she felt it needed to be given.

I was brought out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on the door inside the house. I looked over at Jasper confused. He shrugged and stood up pulling me with him by my hand. We walked through the big glass doors just as Esme opened the front door. I froze in my step as Alice stepped in. My mind flew back to Voltera and her telling me to run and that was the last time I heard from her.

"Surprise!" She said bouncing in her spot.

Jasper's hand instantly slipped out of mine and he walked forward quickly and swept her up in his arms pulling her close and hugging her. The hole that I thought had almost completely disappeared seemed to rip open violently and it almost took my legs out had I not grabbed onto the table next to me. Jasper's head snapped up. I assumed it was from the emotions shooting off of me at this point. I was pretty sure that everyone could feel them, not just Jasper. Alice turned her head in the direction that Jasper was looking and smiled shyly at me. She let go of Jasper and walked toward me. I couldn't peel my eyes away from her face. When she reached me she pulled me into a quick hug before pulling me back at arms length to look at me.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I tried to save him. He broke the law though and they wouldn't listen. The only reason they didn't kill me was because I showed Aro my thoughts and he knew I hadn't come to assist Edward. They knew we were only there to help. He loved you so much. I could feel it as they ripped him apart. They made me stay with them these past months as punishment and I just got released two days ago. I know you must feel so alone."

Alice was back. Jasper had run to her. Edward was still gone. I was alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. Alone. The words echoed in my head. The pain was too much. I couldn't speak. I turned my head to the table and saw Rosalie's car keys sitting there. Somehow I managed to reach out and grab them.

"Rose…,"I whispered.

A second later she was at my side trying to hide a worried expression.

"Go. I don't mind if you borrow it." Her voice was soft and the worry seeped through.

I turned abruptly from Alice and walked as quickly as my brain would allow toward the garage doors. I heard Alice ask what that was about and I threw myself through the garage door. Just as I reached the car door I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't look up. I knew who it was.

"Bella, wait." Jasper's voice was soft and scared.

I took a deep breath and blinked my eyes to pull the tears back before turning to him. His face was pained.

"Don't. I get it. I'm not Alice." I tried to make the words steady.

"I…" I shook my head violently to make him stop.

"No. It's ok. I can't say that if Edward was to show up at the door I wouldn't go back so I would expect nothing less from you. Go. Be happy she's alive." I turned back toward the car and opened the door.

"Bella, wait."

"Jas please." I begged.

I felt the tears escape and pour down my face. I couldn't do this. I couldn't breath. My chest was aching so badly and him being so close just hurt more. I just wanted Edward back at this point. Of course that was not going to happen. I was alone again.

"I can't do this. Not again. Please, just leave me alone." I slipped into the car and backed out of the garage quickly.

I drove fast down the highway. I drove to a little park and ride that I had visited once with Jasper that wasn't too far away from the house. I didn't want to get lost completely. Or maybe I did. It was pouring outside and I stepped out of the car. I walked over to the railing, which overlooked a huge lake. I sunk to the ground and let the tears flow. I was soaking wet in a matter of moments. I sat there for over an hour until I was shivering so bad I wasn't sure I was going to be able to drive. I slid back into the car and pulled back on the highway trying so hard to concentrate to get home. It only took me twenty minutes to get back home. I pulled into the garage and turned the car off. I made no attempt to get out. I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as my body convulsed from shivering. I couldn't cry. Nothing would come out. I simply let my mind shut down. I didn't even want to think. I heard the door open.

"Jesus, Bella you are soaked." Rosalie's voice was worried again.

"Carlisle!" She yelled.

"What's the matter Rose?" Carlisle's voice was nearby now.

"She is shaking so badly. I don't know what to do."

"Bella…"

I turned my head to look at him.

"Her lips are blue. We need to get her warmed up. Go run a luke warm bath for me. Tell Emmett to get me some extra blankets from the closet and make up her bed. Tell Esme to bring me a blanket quick."

A moment later I heard a new voice.

"Oh dear." Esme sounded worried.

I wasn't sure what I looked like, but I was positive it wasn't good by the reactions. The cold wasn't even the worst part. The pain in my chest was unbearable.

"Bella, I know you probably won't like this, but I need to get you out of these clothes. They are not helping warm you up. Ok. Esme is going to help me get them off of you." I tried to nod, but I think it just looked like a seizure.

Carlisle pulled me out of the car and held me up by my arms. My legs wouldn't hold me so I just let them hang below me. I felt Esme sliding them down my body and then I heard a rip and my shirt was gone. I didn't feel even slightly uncomfortable at being completely naked in front of them. Esme held up a blanket and wrapped it around me. Carlisle scooped me up bridal style in his arms and carried me into the house. I noticed he was going human speed. Even with the blanket I was still shivering uncontrollably. I rested my wet hair against Carlisle chest as he walked me upstairs.

"Is she alright?" I heard Jasper say from somewhere nearby.

I clenched my eyes closed.

"I don't know."

"Carlisle she's blue!" Jasper must have gotten a glance at me.

"I am assuming she was out in the rain for an extended period of time."

"Bella, we are going to put you in the bathtub to try and warm your body up ok?" Rosalie's voice was right near my ear.

I felt the blanket being pulled away and a second later my body was wrapped in warmth that made my muscles twitch. I let my head fall back and rest on the edge of the tub. I stared straight ahead at the tile walls. My body wouldn't react to anything I wanted it to. I want to tell everyone to leave me alone. I wanted to scream and yell and throw things. I wanted to beg Jasper to come back. I wanted to yell at the skies for Edward. Nothing happened. I just laid there. It was as if my mind had cornered itself off inside my head and refused to be bothered.

"Carlisle, what are we going to do?" Esme's voice was soft.

"I don't know. This isn't looking good. The water is already starting to get cold. We need to get her into the bed and get her warmed up."

"I'll do it." Rosalie said. "Bella, I'm going to take you into the room and get some clothes on you and get you into bed. You are going to be ok."

I felt myself being lifted up and watched as we moved from the bathroom to the bedroom. I suddenly realized that this was just like after Edward left last year. My mind felt the same. I knew what was going on around me, but I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to do anything. I was simply a spectator in my own life. Rose sat me down on the edge of the bed and I watched her slide underwear up my legs and a t-shirt over my head. The smell was familiar and I looked down at it.

"It's Edwards." She whispered.

Her hands rested on my bare knees. They were warm. I looked up at her and forced words out.

"Your hands." I said.

"What about my hands?" Rose said looking at them and then back at me.

"They're so warm."

Rosalie's eyes got big and she looked over my shoulder.

"Carlisle?"

"Get her into bed." He said softly from somewhere behind me.

Rose slid me back and pulled blankets up around me. The warmth engulfed me, but I was still so cold. She leaned down and kissed my forehead and then walked away. I closed my eyes trying to allow the heat to fill me up.

"What is going on Carlisle?" Jasper's voice filtered through my mind.

"This is not good. She said Rose's hands felt warm. Her body is way too cold."

"What do we do?"

"We wait. That is all we can do."

"Can I sit with her first?"

"Jasper, I'm not sure that is a good idea."

"Please Carlisle. I need to tell her what is going on. Damn it!" I never heard him swear.

"You can sit with her, but don't touch her bare skin or her clothes. Stay on the outside of the blanket."

"If only Alice had told us about Stefan first. Bella got the wrong idea."

Wrong idea? I didn't even have the energy to contemplate what they were talking about. I felt sleep trying to take me over. It could be me passing out too. I was still really cold.

"We will figure that out when the time comes. Right now we need to keep an eye on her. Go, I will be back every hour to check on her."

A moment later the bed sank down behind me.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I should never have done this. Please be ok. Please." Jasper's voice was faint and sounded like he was far away as my mind seeped into darkness.

The coughing started late the second evening. I practically coughed myself into a sitting position. My body was still cold and my chest was aching really badly with each cough. I felt a hand on my arm and it was ice cold. I turned and saw Jasper sitting there. I would have pulled away, but my entire body shook with another round of coughing.

"Carlisle!" Jasper called.

Carlisle was in front of me a second later.

"Bella, what exactly do you feel?" He asked.

I pulled in as much air as possible, which wasn't much. I sounded like I was breathing through a straw. That was the equivalent of the amount of air I was getting. I felt dizzy. I pointed to my chest instead.

"Your chest hurts?"

I nodded. I actually meant physical hurt, but emotional hurt meant the same thing here. My throat was really scratchy and I could barely swallow. I pointed there too.

"And your throat?" I nodded again.

"Ok, I need you to open your mouth as wide as possible so I can look."

I stretched my mouth wide just wanting him to make the pain stop. All of it. He looked in my mouth with a little flashlight for a moment and then pulled away. I let my mouth closed and I slumped back against my pillow completely worn out. I opened my mouth trying to allow more air into my lungs, but it didn't help.

"What's going on?" Esme asked walking in.

"I had hoped the antibiotics I gave her through the last two days would prevent this, but it didn't. Her throat is almost completely closed. She is having hard time breathing. Her lungs sound like someone with emphysema. It is the worst case of Pneumonia I have ever seen. I don't…." He trailed off and he sounded stressed.

"What do we do now?" Emmett asked as he walked in the room.

I rolled my head so I could see them. Carlisle had his back to me. Esme, Rose, and Emmett stood in front of him. They all looked so worried. I was causing them pain once again. I knew Jasper was probably still sitting on the bed, but I didn't look at him.

"There is nothing we can do." Carlisle's words were somber.

"There has to be something!" Rose shouted.

"The antibiotics aren't working. By the time she got back she was already suffering from hypothermia. I'm surprised it didn't happen before we got to her."

"You're surprised what didn't happen?" Jasper's voice was quiet beside me.

"I'm surprised she didn't die," Carlisle's voice was somber and he looked straight at Jasper on the bed.

"You are telling me she is going to die?" Jasper was suddenly right next to Carlisle.

"Yes, son. She is going to die."


	10. Chapter 9

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 9: Final Goodbye**

"There has to be another option!" Rose begged.

"The only other option is to change her."

"I'll do it." Jasper's chin went up slightly.

The idea of living with this pain forever was the worst thought I could imagine. I took as big a breath as I could get and spoke.

"No." The word came out barely a whisper, but they all turned to look at me.

"Bella?" Esme's voice was soft and confused.

"I… said… no!" I said between gulps of air.

"What do you mean no? You are going to die!" Jasper flew back over to the bed.

"I… can't… live like… this."

"Bella, the venom will heal you. You won't be sick anymore," Rosalie's explained.

I shook my head weakly.

"Not… that. I… don't… want to… feel… this… emp…tiness… anymore." I collapsed back completely worn out.

A fit of coughs erupted from my chest and I winced at the pain in my throat.

Nobody spoke. They seemed to all be exchanging glances.

"Bella, Jasper needs to explain something to you before you make that decision. It is your decision to make though. We will be out in the hallway to give you guys your privacy," Carlisle said.

They all filed out of the room and Rose shut the door behind her. I stared straight ahead and concentrated on my breathing, which was getting harder.

"Bella, look at me." Jasper's voice was soft and patient.

I turned it slightly and looked at him out of the corner of my eye.

"I love you." That wasn't what I had been expecting.

My head snapped the rest of the way toward him so I was looking him straight on.

"I know you are confused, but you have to listen. I can't let you die. I love you too much."

"You… love… Alice."

"You are right. I do love Alice. What you do not realize is that it is not like that. I will never stop loving her or forget about what we had together. But things have changed. I love you now. I want to be with you. Alice met someone while she was being held over there. His name is Stefan. She didn't announce it right away because she wasn't sure how I would react. He seems nice though."

"She met… someone?" I was totally confused.

"Yeah. She wants to spend the rest of her eternity with him and I am too happy to oblige. I've found someone I want to spend my eternity with."

He reached out and ran a hand down my face. I closed my eyes and leaned my face into his hand.

"Please let me save you. You know I won't do it unless you say it is ok."

I opened my eyes and looked at him again. His eyes were pleading with me. I could feel the worry he was pushing toward me. I reached my hand out and grabbed his that was lying on the bed. He looked down at it and twirled his fingers into mine.

"Fine… but because… of the family. I can't… take… another child… from Esme," I said releasing his hand.

"What do you mean only because of that?"

"You and…Alice… will… work it… out."

"Bella…"

He stopped talking as my mouth fell open. I tried to take a breath, but nothing came. My lungs burned at the need for oxygen. I brought my hands up to my throat trying to breathe. Nothing. Black dots started to appear in my vision.

"Carlisle!" Jasper yelled as he leaned over me. "Bella, come on baby, breathe."

I tried, but was only able to get in a very unsubstantial amount. Carlisle's face appeared next to Jaspers.

"Bella, stick your tongue out."

I did as he asked as the blackness enveloped over me.

"Her airway is closed. It is now or never. Did she decide?" Carlisle's voice was beginning to fade.

I heard mumbling, but nothing coherent. My lungs were screaming at me. I felt my arms thrashing.

"I love you." Jasper's voice filtered through the blackness and I felt a calmness creep over me.

My arms stopped and I gave in to the fact that this was the end unless they turned me. The thought of being alone for eternity hurt, but I would find a way to deal for Esme and Carlisle. They did not need another loss.

People always say that your life flashes before your eyes when you are about to die. It's rather beautiful. Charlie and Renee. My room in Forks at Charlie's house. The first time I saw Edward. For once it didn't hurt to see Edward's face in my mind. He smiled at me from our biology table. His lips brushed against mine softly. The familiar tingles shot down my spine. The first time he took me to meet his family. The first time I saw him in the sun. Seeing his beautiful body standing in the alley ready to step out into the sun. I saw him standing in our meadow. To my surprise he looked up and smiled at me.

_Go back, Bella._

His words echoed in my head and I reached out to him with my mind. I screamed. I don't want to. Take me with you.

_It's not what is meant for you._

Please!

_Go be happy. Jasper loves you. I will be here watching you._

I don't want to live without you.

_You don't have to. I will always be here. I will always protect you._

How? If you are not here, how?

_I'm doing it now. Jasper already bit you. I'm protecting you from the pain._

My mind spun. I was already in the process of turning.

_He is stronger because of you. The whole family is. Go take care of them for me._

A sob escaped my lips.

_I love you Bella! This is how it was meant to be. I will love you for eternity and I know you will do the same. You will never forget me. Jasper won't let you. Keep my pictures around and think about me when you need comfort. Look in the little wooden jewelry box I gave you before your birthday. I put my mothers ring in it. Wear it. That way I will always be near you._

Edward please!

_It's time to go now Bella. You are exquisite looking. Vampire life will fit you well. You are going to be amazing._

Please don't go Edward! My mind screamed for him to stay, but he started to fade.

_I love you always and forever. Remember that. Tell Carlisle I didn't mean to hurt him. He was my hero. Tell Esme I will always love her and she was the best mother ever and I will watch over her. All of them. Tell Alice thank you for trying to save me. I will always love her more than anything for risking herself that way. Tell Emmett to keep you laughing and laugh for me on occasion. Tell Rose I forgive her. I know she didn't mean for it to turn out like this. And tell Jasper to care for you like there is nothing left in the world. Tell him I love him and am glad he is my brother. Can you do that for me Bella?_

Of course! Anything! I promise!

_I have to go now Bella. I am happy so do not think I am not. I can hear your thoughts now so think of me and know I will hear you. I love you and you made my life worth everything. It is my turn to rest now. Take care of yourself Bella. Live for me. I love you._

The darkness closed in around me and he faded away. The last thing I saw was my favorite crooked smile and that familiar twinkle in his eyes. I reached out for him to stay, but he faded away. I wanted to scream and chase after him. I wanted my mind to give him back.

The feeling came back in my body and I felt myself jump up.

"EDWARD! NO! Come back!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

The difference was that my voice rang out like music. I scanned the room and saw my entire family standing around looking very cautious. The memories of Edward flooded back in my head and I crumpled to the ground.

"NO! Come back! Please please please come back!"

"Bella! What is wrong?" Carlisle was kneeling in front of me.

"Edward was there. I want him to come back!"

"Edward was where?"

"He was there in my mind. He said he was protecting me from the pain. I didn't feel anything. He said I was already turning."

At this I looked down at my hands. They were paler than normal. Carlisle's hand was resting on mine and they were warm. I looked up at him.

"I'm so sorry I took him away! I wasn't fast enough to save him."

"Oh Bella, we do not blame you."

"He told me to tell you he loved you and that you were his hero and he didn't mean to hurt you by what he did."

I looked up at Esme.

"He said you were the best mother ever and he loved you so much." Her hand flew to her mouth and I heard a sob come from her.

I turned to Emmett who had a heartbreaking look on his face.

"Em, he wants you to keep laughing and make sure to laugh for him on occasion and make me laugh."

I sobbed at this, but I had to keep going. I had to keep my promise. I looked at Alice who was standing at the doorway farthest from everyone.

"Alice. He said thank you for trying to save him and for risking yourself for him. He loves you."

I looked at Rose who looked petrified. I think she thought I would have a bad message for her from the look on her face.

"He forgives you. He knows you didn't mean for this to happen."

Rose crumpled to the ground and Emmett was instantly by her side. I turned my entire body toward Jasper who was sitting just a few feet away.

"Jasper."

My voice caught in my throat and he took a few steps toward me until he was right next to me holding my hands.

"He said he loves you and he is so glad you are his brother. He said to take care for me like there is nothing else in the world."

Jasper released my hands and covered his face with them and I saw his body shaking with dry sobs.

"Bella, what did he say to you?" Carlisle's voice was soft.

The memory of the jewelry box suddenly flashed in my mind and I was up and at the closet before I could think about it. The movement startled me. I had forgotten about the whole speed thing. I flung the door open and grabbed the box, which was stored on the shelf. I sat it on the dresser and opened it as softly as possible. There inside was a single ring. I had never opened it after Edward left. I picked it up. It was old. The diamond was beautifully cut. I slid it onto my right ring finger. I figured it was the right place for it. The other hand had to stay reserved for whatever life brought me.

"It's his mothers ring," Carlisle said from next to me.

"He said he loved me and this would help me remember him. He said I would never forget him because Jasper wouldn't let me. He said he loved me!" I collapsed to the ground again in sobs.

"I want him back! Bring him back!" I screamed into my hands.

"Bella, he is happy it seems. He has a soul. You told him that didn't you? He knows you are right. He wants you to be happy. He wants you to live your life and know that if anything were to ever happen to you that he would be waiting."

"I promised him I would tell you all that."

"And you kept your promise. He did the last thing he could for you in your human form. He protected you from that pain. He kept you with him so you wouldn't have to feel those days of burning. He loved you more than his own life. You have to live for him. Show him that you do not take it for granted." Carlisle's words struck a cord.

I stood and ran! I ran down the hallway, down the stairs, out of the back door and collapsed on the back lawn.

"I'll do it for you Edward! I promise you that I will live my life and if something were to happen, I will be right there beside you. I love you!"

Just at that moment the clouds opened up and rained sunlight down. I looked at my hands and saw them sparkle in the light.

_I love you too._

I looked back up and smiled. I wasn't sure I actually heard his voice, but it faded away with the wind anyway. I stood up and slowly made my way back to the house.


	11. Chapter 10

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 10: Newborn**

When I walked back into the house everyone was standing right inside the glass doors watching. Alice came forward and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I'm sorry I sucked at the last greeting," I whispered to her.

She laughed and pulled back to look at me.

"I understand. You are still the same old Bella."

"Yeah, just a little more durable."

"You look amazing."

"Wait!" Carlisle called from the back of the group.

I looked up at him and raised my eyebrows. He walked forward cautiously and pulled Alice back a little.

"What do you feel Bella?" He asked.

I was confused. I thought about it for a minute. I felt the air and each particle bounce off my skin. I could hear cars passing on the highway. I lifted my hand and watched the speed at which it came to me. The sensation was a little startling. I looked back up at him.

"I feel ok. The fast movement is a little weird. I can feel everything. The air, the breeze, I can smell everything too. Like you smell like… pipe tobacco and… newspapers. Very paternal." I said laughing at the look on his face.

"You're not… thirsty?" He seemed cautious.

"Oh!" That thought startled me.

I had been so stuck on the thought that my first year as a newborn would be rough. I would be completely consumed by this unbearable thirst and would have to avoid all humans. I swallowed, but felt nothing.

"No. Is that bad?" I asked suddenly worried.

Jasper walked forward to me and stopped next to Carlisle.

"We don't really know how to handle that, but I don't think it is bad."

"Maybe you should try to hunt. I need to know if the blood is even something you want. I don't know how to handle this."

I nodded and allowed Jasper to take my hand and pull me back outside. In a second we were running into the woods. I heard my family behind me. I let go of Jasper's hand and allowed myself to pull forward. I was stronger than him being a newborn. I took a big breathe of air to allow myself to smell my surroundings. I smelled the grass, dirt, trees, and moss. I could hear the birds chirping, the bugs crawling across the ground. I took another breathe and stopped dead in my tracks. It was somewhat sweet. Jasper flew by me when I stopped so suddenly, but was back in a second. I heard the rest of my family stop behind me.

"What do you smell, Bella?" Jasper was really quiet.

"I don't know. It's kind of sweet. Different than the rest of the surroundings."

"Your throat doesn't burn?" Jasper asked as I reached out and rubbed his cheek.

"No."

"Do you want to try it anyway?" he asked.

"Yeah. I can." I started slowly toward the scent.

I was drawn to it a little, but nothing like had been described. I felt my body crouch into a defensive stance as I continued forward. I saw the elk up ahead drinking from a stream. I got closer and finally sprang. I took the elk down easily and sunk my teeth into its neck where I heard its blood passing through. The warm liquid filled my mouth and I swallowed it quickly. It wasn't a bad taste. It was satisfying. When I was done I threw the carcass to the side and looked up at Jasper who was smiling. He walked over to me quickly and wrapped his arms around me pulling me into a hug.

"That was unbelievably sexy." He whispered.

I pulled back and looked over at Carlisle and Esme who were coming up toward me.

"How do you feel now?" Carlisle asked.

"I feel calmer. I was pretty high strung before. Now I just feel calm."

"Nothing else?"

"Not really. It smelled sweet."

"Well, Bella. It would look as if you have brought extreme mental strength with you into this life." Carlisle said smiling at me.

"That is good. I was scared the most of the first year." I said smiling at him.

"Let's get back to the house and let you relax a little."

We both turned to walk and Jasper grabbed my arm to stop me. I turned and looked at him.

"Did I do something?" He asked confused.

"Why would you think that?"

"You won't talk to me. You don't touch me. I pulled you into a hug back there and you just stood there."

"I told you Jasper. You and Alice will work it out."

"No."

I pulled my arm out of his grasp and took of in a run to the house. As I neared it I saw Alice standing on the patio with her arms crossed in front of her. I ran up and stopped a few feet away.

"Is there something wrong Alice?" I asked.

"Yes, Isabella," I cringed because she only called me Isabella when she was extremely mad.

"What did I do now?"

"Come upstairs with me."

I followed her upstairs and we made our way into me and Jasper's study. She sat down in my chair so I walked over and sat at Jasper's. I glanced at the picture he had of me and him on the back patio sitting on the desk before glancing back at Alice.

"Why are you doing this to Jasper?" She asked suddenly.

"What am I doing?" My voice wasn't as firm as hers.

"You know what you are doing. He loves you and you are pushing him away. Do you realize what that is probably doing to him?"

"Jasper and I never would have happened if you and Edward were still here. I can't expect him to want to stay with me when you are back and I love him enough to let him go." I looked out the window not wanting to show her the pain it had caused.

"Bella, I want you to meet someone." I turned to look as a tall male walked into the room.

He had spiky short black hair. His scent was woodsy. He walked over and stood behind Alice. I looked between the two.

"Bella, this is Stefan. My mate." She said the last part nervously.

My eyebrows shot up. I didn't think Jasper was completely straight forward about Stefan.

"Your mate?"

"Yes Bella. I have talked to Jasper and he has given us his blessing to be together. I didn't want to hurt him so I didn't bring Stefan right away. I didn't mean for things to go the way they had. I didn't mean for all of this to be the cause of your change."

"I know. It's just kind of funny because not too long ago me and Jasper had the conversation about him turning me."

"I heard about that."

"You did?" I asked knowing I would have blushed if I could.

"Don't be embarrassed. I am happy for you two. I do not have to carry guilt about leaving Jasper. You two are perfect for each other."

"But…I…" I didn't know what to say.

"You heard him Bella. Edward said to let Jasper take care of you." Her voice was soft as she said this, trying to measure my reaction.

I tightened my jaw and looked down at my hand resting on the desk. Edward's mother's ring sparkled in the light from the window. I was glad that I could not cry at this moment. I looked back up at Alice and simply nodded once. She smiled and got up from her chair coming over to me. She hugged me from the side and kissed my cheek.

"Don't worry about me. I am happy. Now you go be happy. It's what Edward wanted," She whispered in my ear and then left the room with Stefan who waved at me on his way out.

I laid my head back against the chair letting my mind clear. I heard footsteps approach and pause outside the door.

"Come in," I said opening my eyes.

Rosalie stepped into the room. I smiled big at her and motioned her over to the desk. She came over and sat on the desk facing me.

"How you feeling?" I asked her.

"I'm better. That whole conversation just took a lot out of me."

"I noticed. He loved you. I could see it in his eyes when he told me what to tell you."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"I'm not. I would have done anything to see him again. Even if it was our final goodbye until something happens to end my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can still hear his voice."

"So what is going to happen now?"

"Oh jeesh. I do not know. I need to talk to Jasper."

"Why haven't you done it yet?"

"I don't know. I just wanted to give him and Alice a chance to work it out."

"Now that you know that isn't going to happen are you going to work it out with him?"

"I want to."

"Then now is the perfect time. He is in his room listening to music."

I let my hearing span out and I heard the soft sounds of Allison Krauss coming from his room. It was the song he had sang in my ear at Tanya's. I smiled and stood up giving Rosalie a hug.

"I'll see you later."

I made my way out of the study and down the hall to Jasper's room. I paused outside the room and quickly realized the song was on repeat. I turned the knob slowly and made my way in as quiet as possible. He was lying on the bed with his hands behind his bed and his eyes closed. The music was blasting. The song started over and I quietly made my way to the bed.

_The smile on your face lets me know that you need me_

_There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me._

_The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall_

_You say it best… when you say nothing at all._

His eyes opened at the first word, but he simply watched me. I smiled at him and crawled up sitting Indian style next to him. I reached out and took his hand out from under his head and pulled it into my lap. He just watched me without saying anything. He actually looked really sad. I traced small circles on his palm for a moment without saying anything. I pulled it up to my face and kissed the center of his palm then brought it back to my lap and looked up at him.

"Your hand is warm," I said silently.

He didn't speak, just nodded.

"It feels nice."

He nodded again.

"I'm sorry for not listening to you earlier."

His forehead wrinkled in what appeared to be pain, but he didn't speak again.

"I haven't been fair to you. I ignored what you said in the woods, and I ignored what you said before you turned me, and I wasn't giving you my whole heart when you deserved so much better."

"Bella, I…" I shook my head to cut him off.

"I have to get this out or I am never going to be able to do it."

I took a moment to collect myself as I stared at his hand cradled in mine.

"I was giving you a part of me that I felt I could. I gave you myself physically because that is something nobody else had taken from me. That was our moment. Don't take that as I did it just because I wanted you to have something of your own. I did it because I wanted to. I just feel bad because I should have been giving you so much more. I was still grieving over Edward and I am still not sure how to handle that. After what happen these last couple days and then today being able to see him one last time was such a refreshing feeling. I never got to say goodbye. Even when he left last year I never said goodbye. He was gone before I got the chance. So with him dying and me not having that closure, there was no way for me to move on fully. After talking to him earlier, even if it was just in my mind, lifted this huge burden off of me. I still carried around the assumption that he didn't love me because that is why he left he said. He had said he didn't want me. I had believed him all this time and I still went there to save him, because I couldn't live in a world that he didn't exist. Even if he didn't want me. Now knowing that he does exist and he is in a safe place makes me feel so good."

I stopped to get my emotions in check. I knew that Jasper was feeling everything.

"Carlisle told him numerous times that he believed you had souls and he didn't believe it. He felt that with what you were there was no happy ending. Now he knows and that makes me happy. He told me he loved me and that I would always remember him. He told me to look at his pictures when I missed him and that he could hear my thoughts now so all I had to do was think of him and he would hear me."

I broke off as a sob racked my body. Jasper weaved his fingers in mine and squeezed gently.

"I feel bad because he told me to go live and be happy and all I wanted was to follow him. I just wanted him to sweep me up and take me wherever he was going. Then he mentioned you and I was torn. Here was Edward in all his glory telling me he loved me and a part of me wanted to come back here to you. It was like the ultimate betrayal in my mind. Then he told me it was meant to be like this. I was meant to live and that I made you a stronger person and the rest of the family. He told me it was my job to come back and watch over you for him and that he would be watching over all of us. He was basically telling me that this was fate. This is what the stars had lined up for me. Part of me think that sucks because what kind of fate is it when you have to go through so much hurt and pain to get to the other stuff. That still doesn't make sense to me. Then he told me about the ring and said to wear it and think of him whenever, but to be happy and live with you."

I looked up at him then and I couldn't read his face. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and I realized that he knew I needed to get this out before I could move on.

"So… after I forwarded his message to you guys I went outside where I could be near him alone. I told him that I promised to live my life for him. I promised to do everything I could in life to make him proud and to be happy. And I told him I loved him so that he always knew that he was my first."

I broke off again as my body shook with a sob. I wanted so badly to shed tears.

"I had to make sure he understood that I would never ever forget him. There is nothing on this earth that could make me do that. And then I heard him say he loved me too in the wind."

I broke off finally and my body crumpled forward with my sobs. Jasper sat up and wrapped his arms around me and just held me while I let my body get out everything it wanted to. After what seemed like forever I pulled back and Jasper pushed himself back up against the wall with his feet stretched out in front of him. I took a few unnecessary deep breaths and looked up at him.

"I'm ready now."

"Ready for what?" he whispered.

"Ready to give you everything. You already have so much, but I am ready to give you the rest of what we need to be together."

"Bella, I don't want everything."

His words tore at me and if I could pass out I probably would have.

"What I mean is that I don't want you to give me all of it because I want you to save that part of your heart for Edward. I understand you loved him with everything you could. I understand that he was your first love and you will never forget him. I would never let that happen. He was my brother and I know how much you meant to him. What you give me is better than any gift I have ever gotten. I want you to be happy and you could never ever be happy without Edward in your life. He may not be here physically, but he is mentally and spiritually and you need to hold onto that. It won't tear us apart. I promise you that."

"Thank you. Thank you for being so understanding and thank you for caring enough to know what I need."

"It is the thought that counts. You were ready to give me what you thought I needed to make me happy. That is love right there."

I crawled toward him and into his lap straddling him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist pulling me as tight against him as possible.

"I love you Jasper and I want to be with you forever."

"I love you too Bella. I am sorry it took so much drama to get to this place."

I couldn't help but laugh.

"It's the story of my life…er…afterlife too."

He laughed and pulled away slightly to look at me.

"You do make me stronger."

"Really?"

"Oh yes. You make me want to be a better person."

"There is no such thing."

"Biased are we?" He teased smiling at me.

His smile was radiant. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine in the most delicate kiss. A moment later he pulled away and pulled me back in for another hug. I sighed in content because I knew that this is where I belonged. This is where I should be. I wondered what Alice was thinking right now about all this.

"I am going to kill Bella if she doesn't come out here right now." Alice's voice echoed through my head.

"She is so moody sometimes." I said looking at Jasper.

He looked confused.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Alice?" I asked.

A moment later she popped her head into the room.

"Yes, Bella?"

"What did I do that has you threatening to kill me?" I asked looking over at her.

She stood as still as a statue for a moment just staring at me.

"What… How… What?"

"Vampire hearing, remember! I heard you out in the hallway say 'I am going to kill Bella if she doesn't come out here right now'," I mimicked her perfectly.

"Bella, I didn't say that out loud."


	12. Chapter 11

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 11: Powers**

"Bella, are you ok?" Jasper looked concerned.

"I swore I heard her talk."

"Maybe Edward gave you more than you think," Alice said.

"Nothing can be easy," I said as I buried my head in Jasper's neck.

He rubbed his hands up and down my back.

"It's ok."

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice surprised me slightly.

"Hmm." I didn't move my head at all.

"I hear that you are reading minds."

"It would appear so."

"Can you hear them now?" He asked.

I pulled away and listened. Nothing.

"No."

"Let's test this. Jasper, start thinking of something. Bella, you concentrate on Jasper and try and read his mind."

I looked at Jasper and he smiled. I still couldn't hear anything. So I looked back at when I heard Alice. I had wondered what she had been thinking about just as I heart her. So I tried it again. I wonder what Jasper is thinking?

_I want everyone to leave this room so that I can be alone with Bella finally._

I smiled big at him.

"Me too," I said and his smile got bigger.

"I am assuming it worked?" Carlisle asked.

I turned and looked at him.

"Not at first. When I heard Alice I had thought about what she would be thinking. So I tried that. I just asked myself 'what is Jasper thinking' and it's like his mind opened up."

"So it is up to you whether you listen or not. Seems that Edward must have given you his gift, but with your amazing mind control you are able to decide when to listen. That will be very nice for you."

"So now I have amazing mental strength to avoid wanting to drink blood and mind reading. What else?"

"Well we already know you are some sort of shield. You block people out of your mind."

"That is true."

"Very strong vampire you are Bella."

"Thank you."

"Would you guys mind if we had some alone time?" Jasper asked suddenly.

"Of course. We will talk later Bella," Carlisle said before turning and moving out of the room followed by Alice who smiled and winked at me before closing the door.

I turned my attention back to Jasper who cocked his head to the side and smiled at me. I ran my fingers through his hair and rested my other hand on his chest. He reached up and traced my lips with his finger and ran it along my jaw line to my collar bone.

"I've missed you," He said so softly I barely heard it.

"I missed you too."

"So now you can read my thoughts and know every single thing I think about you."

"No. I am not going to use it unless it is a necessity. I don't want to violate someone's privacy. Edward didn't have a choice because he couldn't just shut it off. That was different. If I have the option I am not going to use it unless I need to."

"Whatever makes you happy," He said

I pulled him toward me and let my lips brush his lightly. The sensation was amazing. It was totally different from being human. It was like my lips were getting a million little electrical shocks. I pulled back and looked at him wide eyed.

"I know it's a little overwhelming."

"No, it's just a shock."

"You are so amazing. I mean, you were before, but now I don't have to be so careful and you have all these new amazing abilities that make you just that much more special."

"You are pretty special too you know."

"Not as much as you."

"You are special to me."

"I love you," He said.

I leaned forward and trailed kisses down his jaw. We spent the next hour just kissing and cuddling and enjoying each others company. When we decided to emerge for a little while we made our way to the living room. Emmett was sitting there and he looked angry.

"What's the matter Emmett?" I asked

"I want to do something. I'm bored. I used to wrestle with Ed…" he cut off and looked up at me.

I smiled at him to let him know it was ok. Deep inside my chest, though, I felt that familiar ache.

"Well, the guys use to wrestle, but Jasper has been busy."

"Come with me," I said holding my hand out.

He grabbed my hand and jumped up eagerly.

"What we going to do?" he asked looking extremely excited.

As we neared the back door, the entire family followed curiously. I let go of Emmett's hand and let him lead the way outside. As soon as he was in the clear of the door I grabbed his hips and felt my muscles burn with the first time of being used. I picked him up and threw him as far as I could. He flew across the yard and slammed into a tree.

"Oh shit!" Jasper said laughing.

Emmett recovered quickly and I crouched into a defensive position and walked toward him as he did the same.

"You are going to pay for that Bella. You are not as breakable as before."

"I am not as weak either big brother."

"I am still going to stomp you."

I stood up straight and put my hand out with my palm facing up. I smiled slyly and gestured my fingers to let him know to bring it. He lunged at me and I ducked to the side.

"Don't cheat now little sister. No mind reading."

"I wouldn't dream of it," I said quickly going back into a crouch.

I lunged at him and he collided with him. It made an earth shattering crack. I rolled to the side and jumped quickly back up. I took off running around the yard as Emmett chased me. I criss-crossed and made my way around the yard making sure to stay a few feet in front of Emmett. I stopped suddenly and stuck my foot out and he tripped and slammed into the ground leaving a big dent in the earth. I laughed, but before I could realize he was around and brought his leg up and kicked me. The air rushed out of my lungs and I flew into a tree at the far end of the yard splitting it in half. The sensation of being slammed into a tree was mind altering. I found myself trying to gather my thoughts.

"Emmett, careful. She is new to this." Jasper scolded from the porch.

I crouched down and concentrated on Emmett. I could not let him win. I was angry for letting myself let my defenses down. I felt a glow surround me and it expanded out suddenly in a light yellow orb. It surrounded me by about two feet. My mouth dropped open in shock and as soon as I stopped concentrating it snapped back to my body. I looked at everyone on the porch and they didn't seem to have noticed it. I looked over at Emmett who was inching toward me. I let my mind concentrate on him and his attack and instantly the orb expanded surrounding me again. I tried to keep my concentration. When Emmett was about twenty feet from me he lunged. I was totally prepared for his attack, but was totally taken off guard when he slammed into the outside of the orb and flew back fifty feet. Instantly the orb snapped back to me and I ran over to him.

"Emmett are you ok?" I asked looking down at him.

His eyes were big and he was breathing hard.

"What the hell was that?" He stammered.

The entire family was at our sides instantly.

"What happened Emmett? You lunged and then suddenly you are on your back." Carlisle asked.

"I… uh… I… think… that was me," I said standing up straight.

"What do you mean you think it was you?" Jasper asked walking to my side.

"I don't know. I got angry with myself for letting my defenses down and I concentrated really hard on Emmett coming at me and the next thing I know there was this yellow glow surrounding me. It surprised me at first and it kind of like snapped back to my body like elastic. Then I concentrated again and it shot out. What does that mean?" I said turning to look at Carlisle.

"It looks like you just keep getting more amazing by the minute Bella," Carlisle said helping Emmett up who still looked shaken.

"Em, I am so sorry."

"Don't worry about it. Got my thrills for the day," He said beaming at me.

"Bella, it would appear that your mental power is not just to block out the bad mentally, but also physically. That would come in handy during a fight."

"Oh," I said looking around at everyone.

"Would you mind trying it again?" Carlisle asked.

"Um… I guess not."

"Ok, now Jasper is going to come at you…"

"No! I won't be able to do it toward Jasper. Someone else," I said shaking my head.

"I'll do it. I'm sure there is some built up animosity from before still left in there," Rose said stepping forward.

I smiled at her slightly to let her know that wasn't true.

"Ok now Bella. I need you to signal to me when you do it ok. We clearly can not see it."

"Ok," I said backing away and crouching toward Rosalie.

Rosalie took a few steps forward and crouched while pulling her lips back over her teeth. A loud growl rolled out of her chest. I growled back instantly ready for battle. I felt the yellow orb shoot out and noticed it moved slightly. I urged it to move and found that it easily did. I lifted my hand up to signal to Carlisle that it was up.

"Ok, go Rosalie."

Rosalie lunged at me with no pause and slammed into the edge of the orb causing her to fly back again. She recovered quickly and stood up. I didn't let my shield down and concentrated on holding it up.

"Again!" I said through clenched teeth.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked concerned.

"This time…" The orb started to retract and I concentrated again. "Attack Jasper."

Carlisle looked at Jasper confused. Jasper looked at me and I nodded struggling to keep up the shield without danger to urge me on. Alice dropped down into a crouch a few feet from Jasper and growled at him wildly. He instantly followed suit and Alice rocked back in forth ready to attack. I felt the power burn in me again and I forced the orb out around Jasper. He didn't seem to notice. A second later Alice lunged, but only made it a foot before she slammed right into the orb and fell backwards. Instantly the orb dropped and I dropped to my knees taking deep breaths. Jasper was quickly to my side.

"Are you ok?" he asked holding my face up to his.

"Yeah. Just takes a lot of concentration."

"How did you do that?" Carlisle asked.

"I don't know. I just pushed it out around myself and noticed it flexed a little so I concentrated on pushing it towards Jasper. It gets harder to hold without a threat around."

"This is amazing," Esme said smiling next to me.

"You are one amazing creature," Emmett said as Rose nodded.

"Why don't we let Bella rest and go back in the house?" Carlisle said.

Jasper scooped me up in his arms and kissed my forehead as we all made our way inside.


	13. Chapter 12

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 12: Intimate**

Jasper took me into the bedroom and sat me on the bed. I smiled up at him and he winked before going into the bathroom. I heard the water turn on and a few minutes later it turned off and I heard the water splashing around.

"Bella?" Jasper called from the other room.

"Yeah?" I was totally confused.

"Come here please."

I smiled and made my way into the bathroom. The lights were dim and Jasper was sitting in the bathtub, which was filled with water and the jets were on.

"I figured after that fight and all the mental stress you might want to join me for a nice relaxing bath."

I couldn't help but smile at him. I slipped my clothes off and stepped into the tub. Jasper turned me around and pulled me down between his legs allowing me to rest my back against him. The water felt amazing against my new skin.

"It has been a long day," I said resting my head against his chest.

"That it has. Very exhausting."

"This feels amazing though."

"This is one thing you will learn to enjoy a lot. The warm bath water feels really good against your ice cold skin. The jets help keep it warm longer."

His hands came up to my shoulders and gently started rubbing them. I moaned lightly and let my head lay forward so he had better access. He rubbed his hands over my shoulders and down my arms before working his way back up. I turned my body slightly sideways so I could reach his face. I pulled his down to mine and pressed my lips to his. I felt a growl deep in his chest. I pulled away laughing.

"What is so funny?" he asked narrowing his eyes at me.

I giggled and pointed down to the water between us.

"Oh."

"I can feel you."

"That is not funny."

"It is. But I like it." Why don't we finish up here so we can go play in the bedroom," I said wiggling my eyes at him.

"Sounds like a plan."

I stood up and stepped out of the tub. As I dried off with a towel and wrapped it around me I looked over at Jasper who was staring at me intently. I shook my butt a little bit and Jasper crouched down into a hunting position. I winked at him before turning and running into the room at vampire speed. A foot from the bed he plowed into me sending me sprawling out onto the bed. I burst into laughter as he flipped me over and pinned my hands above my head.

"I got you now you little tease," he said grinding his naked body against my towel.

"You forget one thing gorgeous," I smiled at him sneakily.

"What is that?"

I'm a newborn," I said as I quickly broke his grasp and flipped him over to his back as I leaned over him having his hands pinned above his head. He was shocked for a second before he smiled up at me. I let go of his hands and they instantly went to my hips. I leaned down and kissed him passionately. He unhooked the towel and pushed it away so that my body was pressed against his. His hands traced lines down my back.

I slid down his body and laid a trail of kisses down his body. I nipped and sucked on every piece of flesh. Jasper was looking down at me the entire time and light moans and grunts could be heard through his body. I slid down until I was kneeling between his legs.

"Bella, you don't have to do that," he said knowing what I had in mind.

"I do though," I said smiling slyly.

I reached out and wrapped my hand around his length. He hissed and his hips bucked forward. I pumped my hand up and down slowly making him harder each time. His hands were gripping the sheets so hard I was sure he would tear them. I lowered my head and flicked my tongue across the tip causing him to suck in another breath. Without hesitation I took his entire length in my mouth. It hit the back of my throat and I sucked hard before sliding it back out and then in. I quickened my pace and Jasper slid a hand into my hair gently.

"Bella, God you are amazing."

I hummed against him and his head arched back into the pillow.

"I'm not… I can hold… I'm not going to last," He was struggling to speak.

I smiled to myself and slid him back into my mouth. As I slid it back out I let my teeth run along the entire length. I felt his erection twitch

"Oh god Bella. I'm going to cum… you have to pull away when I say."

I sucked hard a few more times and then let my teeth scrape against him again and he pulsed inside my mouth.

"Now," he groaned loudly.

I kept sucking without pause and a second later he spilled into my mouth. I eagerly drank his liquid and when I was sure he was done I pulled out and crawled back over him. He pulled me up to him and kissed me hard on the mouth.

"You don't listen very well."

"I wanted to do that. I do not mind."

"I love you."

"I love you too baby."

He kissed me again. This time he rolled us over slowly until he was back over me. My hands rested on his chest as his mouth eagerly took in all of mine. He shifted his weight so he was leaning onto his left arm. His right arm traced lightly down my face and neck, slowly making his way downs my body. He rubbed himself against my thigh while gripping my hip. He slid his hand down between us and slid a finger in flicking my clit. I groaned into his mouth and arched my hips toward him needing more. I spread my legs wider allowing him better access. His finger slid inside of me and was quickly joined by another. I broke the kiss and threw my head back with a loud moan. His finger curled gently inside of me and hit my sensitive spot deep inside. I could quickly feel the heat building between my legs. I rocked my hips with his hand and he sucked and kissed along my neck and collar bone. I could feel my muscles start to twitch from the onset of an orgasm that was fast approaching. Without warning, Jasper pulled his hand away.

"Ugh!" I groaned from the loss of sensation.

He quickly positioned himself over me and pressed himself into me. Within a second his entire length was buried deep into me. I slid my arm around his waist trying to pull him up against me as hard as I could.

"Harder," I begged.

His movements instantly became more aggressive as his hips slammed into mine. This surely would have broken me in human form, but now just seemed normal. He sat up while taking my hips into his hands and brought our bodies together so that he was going as deep as possible. I put my hand on his chest to stop him and he looked confused. I pulled away and sat up kissing him for a moment. I nibbled on his ear before letting him go and turning over. I got on my hands and knees and looked over my shoulder at him. He simply stared at me so I did something I wasn't sure was ok. _What is Jasper thinking?_

_Good God she is beautiful. I can not believe she picked me. I want her so bad._

He leaned forward then and ran a hand down my spine. His hand slid down and rested on my waist. With a gently thrust he was back in me again.

"Oh Jesus," I screamed.

The angle at which he was coming into me now hit all new places and nerves inside my body. I couldn't help the constant moans that were pouring out of my mouth.

"Uh! You feel so good." Jasper grunted.

I moved my body along with him and brought my hips up and back as he thrust into me harder. I felt his body arch over mine and press against my back. One of his hands let go of my waist and snaked around my body. A second later he slid it in between my folds and started rubbing circles on my clit. My breathing became ragged and I could feel the pressure building to an uncomfortable level. I knew I was not going to last much longer. He pinched my bundle of nerves between his fingers and I yelped from the sensation. I brought my arm up over my shoulder and gripped his neck pulling his body up against mine.

"Baby, I can't…"

"I know… Let go."

He pinched my swollen nub between his fingers again and I felt my walls clench around him. I threw my head back and screamed his name as my orgasm crashed over me. I felt his body jerk and a second later my name was coming out of his mouth in the same fashion. We stayed in that position for a few moments before he pulled out and collapsed next to me. I lay on my stomach with my chin resting on his chest looking up at him. He smiled at me and ran a finger along the side of my face.

"I have a confession," I said smiling lightly.

"What?" He was still catching his breath.

"I listened to your thoughts."

"When?"

"When I first got on my hands and knees. You didn't speak and I needed to know what you were thinking."

"Did you like what you heard?" he asked knowingly.

"I loved it. I won't do it again. I promise."

"You can listen to me whenever you want. My thoughts are always on you."

"How did I get so lucky?" He wrinkled his eyebrows in confusion.

"I had Edward for so long and then he was taken away. I thought life was over and then here you were. Always there and always so caring. Even before we were together I would have asked you to change me because you were my world. I cared so much about you. I just feel like the luckiest girl in the world."

"Well I am pretty lucky myself. Who would have thought that you would love me back after I tried to kill you that one time?"

"I never held that against you. I blamed my own clumsy self. You wouldn't have killed me."

"Bella I want you to know how much I care for you."

"I know Jas. I feel the same."

He smiled at me and we spent the rest of the evening laying in each others arms and making love over and over again.


	14. Chapter 13

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 13: Family Problems**

Life had been good. It seemed like it never would be, but things were looking up. It had been eight months since I was changed. The family was good and Jasper and I were doing great.

We lay in bed quietly just holding each other. The house was silent. The family was home, but each of them was doing their own things. I wondered to myself what everyone was doing.

_I don't like this layout. Maybe I should move this room here. _Esme's thoughts were centered on her blueprints for a new house she was going to build.

_I hate this part. I always get killed by the dragon_. Emmett seemed to be playing video games.

_I think I made a mistake._ Alice's thoughts slipped into my mind and I got curious so I listened on.

_Stefan is great, but I miss my old life. I miss Jasper. I wonder if he misses me._

I sat dead upright in bed. Jasper quickly sat up with me looking at me worried.

"Bella, what is wrong?"

I shook my head at him.

"Nothing, I just… it's nothing. Don't worry. I am going to go play video games with Emmett." I jumped up before Jasper could say anything and went downstairs.

Instead of playing I simply took a seat next to him on the couch and watched. My mind wasn't really on it though and my thoughts wandered.

What was I going to do if Alice asked for him back? I couldn't say no. He was rightfully hers. I had stolen him from her. I would have to give him back. If she missed him, then I would have to act on it.

Jasper walked into the room just then and stood against the wall watching me. I avoided his gaze. I could feel his confusion emanating off of him. I decided I was going to go hunting hoping to calm my emotions. I stood up and Jasper stepped forward.

"I think I am going to go hunting," I said smiling at him lightly

"I'll go with you."

"Uh, no I think I am going to take Alice."

A look of hurt crossed his face and a second later Alice skipped down the stairs.

"I'd love to go," She said smiling at me.

"I'll be back in a while," I said kissing Jasper on the cheek and turning and running out the back with Alice.

We ran for a little while so we were deep in the woods. We caught the scent of a family of bears and went after then. Once we had our fill of blood we sat down on a rock. It was silent for a minute as I battled with myself on talking to her.

"You seem conflicted."

"Yeah."

"Want to talk about it?" She glanced over at me.

"I listened to you," I said whispering.

"Ok. That isn't so bad."

"I don't like to invade your privacy like that. I just wondered what the family was doing this morning and your thoughts were instantly in my head. I would have shut it off, but then I heard what you were thinking."

"What?" She looked over at me.

"You miss him," I said looking down at my lap.

"Oh," She turned her head and looked off into the woods.

"All you have to do is tell me and I will back away. He is yours. He always has been and I would never in a million years keep him if you wanted him back."

"Bella, I could never ask that of either of you," She turned and looked me in the eye again.

"You really wouldn't have to ask. I feel kind of obligated to back away now. I don't want to hurt Jasper by avoiding him, but he does love you still. He has to. You guys were together for so long."

"That doesn't mean that he wants me back. He loves you now. I never said I wanted to be back with him. Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong decision because me and Stefan do fight. Not bad, but enough. I am not use to that. Jasper and I never fought. It's just new."

"I want you to think about it and tell me what you are feeling. I need the truth. I can't walk around wondering if you two are meant to be together."

"You would do that? You would allow me the time to work it out in my head?"

"I would do anything for you. You are my best friend. Rose is pretty close to me too now, but you were my friend first. I would give you anything you want."

"I thank you for that."

"Of course. I am going to go away for a couple of days. I think I will go visit Edward. That way you and Jasper can spend some time together."

"Bella, you don't have to leave."

"I think I do. I need to clear my head and get in the mind set of being alone just in case."

"Are you going to tell Jasper?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go back now?"

"Yeah, let's get this show on the road."

We both stood and ran off toward the house. When the house came into view Jasper stepped out the back door. Alice and I stopped and she turned to me. I pulled her into a hug.

"I'm going to miss you Bella."

"I'll be back. I'll see you on Monday."

"Ok. Thank you again."

"Of course."

She smiled at me before running into the house. Jasper stepped down from the porch and made his way over to me. His eyebrows were wrinkled together in confusion. I smiled at him when he stopped in front of me.

"You're leaving?"

"I have to. Just for a couple days."

"Why? Can I come with you?"

"No, you can't come. Jasper…" I took a deep breath and closed my eyes in an attempt to keep myself from sobbing.

"Bella, what is it? You are throwing off all kinds of emotions; Sad, confused, pain. What is it?"

"Alice misses you."

"What?" He straightened his pose quickly.

"That is what was wrong early. I used my mind reading abilities to see what the family was doing and I overheard Alice say she thought that maybe she made a mistake and that she missed you."

"Bella…"

"You don't have to say anything. I'm not leaving because I think you don't love me. I am leaving because if Alice had come back to begin with, you and I never would have worked. We never would have even considered it. I probably never would have confided in you, which would mean that we never would have gotten so close. So, if she misses you I have to give you two the chance to decide if that is what you want."

"I love you though."

"I know you do and I love you too. I owe it to her, Jasper. She saved my life. I would have died over there if she hadn't told me what to do. She let us have our chance and I am so happy for that, but I have to give her a chance too. I can't walk around wondering if maybe I interceded fate."

"And what happens if it does turn out and I am supposed to be with Alice. What then for you?"

"I'll come back. I promise. This is my family whether I am with you or not."

"I don't want you to go." I had never seen that look of sadness in Jasper's eyes before.

"Just take the time to be with Alice. Decide what you want. Don't choose me because you don't want to hurt me. I am a big girl. I will be ok."

"Where are you going?"

"I am going to go visit Edward I think. I haven't talked to him in a while."

"What do you mean visit him?"

"I have a place I want to go. I will be back first thing Monday."

Jasper took two quick steps forward and pulled me to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head in his chest. I took a few deep breaths taking in his beautiful scent. Without being able to stop it a sob escaped my throat. Jasper tightened his hold on me. I lifted my head and looked at him. He lowered his head to mine and barely touched his lips against mine. It was the most loving kiss we have ever shared. I pressed harder against him and brought my arms around his neck. One of his hands came up from my hips and tangled in my hair. I licked his bottom lip to let me have access and he granted it. I poured as much love and emotion as I could into the kiss before breaking away a few minutes later.

"Don't go," he whispered.

"I have to."

"Come back."

"I will. I love you. More than you could possibly know."

"I love you too."

I saw in his face that he was trying to hold in his emotions. I stretched up and kissed him once more before backing out of his embrace. I turned around and ran back into the woods.

When I was sure I was out of hearing range I let my sobs rip out of me as I ran. I knew it would take me a little while to get to where I was going. I just kept running and sobbing until I was finally unable to cry anymore. A couple hours after I started running my surroundings became familiar. A moment later I stopped. I looked around at where I was and closed my eyes letting my memories take over. I lay down in the middle of the open meadow and stared up at the clouds letting time pass.


	15. Chapter 14

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 14: The Meadow**

I had lay in the same place for two days now. I had less than twelve hours before I was suppose to return to the house. I was terrified. I had talked myself up so much about giving them this chance, but inside I was screaming for him not to go back to her. I truly wasn't sure I would be able to handle that. I had talked to Edward throughout my time here knowing he would not talk back. It made me happy to know that he could hear me though. I told him everything that was going on and about all my powers. I told him how much I missed him and wishes I could see him again. It felt good to just talk without interruption.

I was watching the clouds change shape when an unfamiliar scent hit me. I instantly jumped to my feet and crouched. It smelled bad. Bad to the point of my nose wrinkling up in disgust. I pushed my shield out around me to protect myself. It ranged out in a yellow orb about thirty feet away from me. I let my senses take over and I heard footsteps running through the forest. It sounded like an animal. A second later a big russet brown wolf walked slowly into the meadow in what appeared to be a defensive position. My memories instantly shot to action and I remembered Jacob fazing in front of me and wrestling with Paul. I straightened my crouch and opened my mind up.

"Jacob?" I asked out loud.

The wolf froze in place and stared at me.

_How does this leech know my name?_

"Jake, it's me. Bella."

_Bella? That is not possible. She died._

"I can read your mind Jake. It's me. I promise. I didn't die over there."

_I'm not going to fall for that. I will not faze in front of a leech._

"I'm not asking you to Jake. I can talk to you just like this. Edward gave me his mind reading abilities."

_It's really you?_

"Yes Jake. It's really me."

_Where is your bloodsucking boyfriend? Is he here too?_

I felt the pain in my chest ache lightly.

"No Jake. Edward died in Italy."

_Died? How is that possible_

"They killed him. I wasn't fast enough."

_Well, for your sake I am sorry. What are you doing here? Where are the rest of them?_

"They are back at our new house. I just came to visit me and Edward's meadow."

_How did you get like this Bella? Your father thinks you are dead._

I flinched at the mention of my father.

"I have only been like this for eight months. Jasper changed me because I got really sick and was going to die. I gave them my permission. They didn't do it against my will."

_You have only been like this for eight months? Why did you make us believe you died?_

"I mine as well have Jake. I didn't function properly for months. I couldn't put my dad through that again. I knew that I would be changed sooner or later. I didn't want to live for a while."

_And now?_

"I just came to see this place one last time. I didn't come to hunt anyone. I have never even tasted human blood."

_That is good to hear._

"How is my dad?"

_He is good. He got remarried a couple months ago to Sue Clearwater._

"Married? That is good. At least I know that he is not alone anymore."

_He is doing good Bella. I watch out for him._

"Thank you Jake. I really appreciate that. I miss you."

_I miss you too Bella. I imprinted._

"That is great Jake! I am happy for you."

_Her name is Anna. She is great. I love her a lot._

"I am so happy for you."

_Bella, I am going to have to ask you to leave._

"I know. Thank you for telling me all of that."

_Can I do one thing?_

"Of course."

A second later I saw his body shake a little bit and suddenly he phased. I looked away as he slid on a pair of pants and started walking toward me. I pulled my shield back so he could walk up to me. He stopped a foot away and wrinkled his nose.

"Bella you stink," He said smiling at me.

"You smell like a dog."

"I've heard that before."

I laughed a little and he opened his arms up. I looked at him timidly at first.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Come give me a hug."

I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around his bare torso. He flinched at the cold, but wrapped his arms around me. I felt like crying. It made me remember all the times we worked in the garage or rode motorcycles.

"I miss you," I whispered into his ear.

"Maybe we can still talk."

I pulled back and looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, give me your number and I will call you on occasion. You don't hurt anyone. You never have. I don't see why we can't at least talk."

"That is true."

"So what do you say?"

"I say ok. I would love to talk to you."

"I'm really sorry about Edward. I know how much you loved him."

"I'm sorry too. I got better though. I know he is watching over me. I kind of started seeing Jasper."

"Isn't he married?"

"Well, no. Him and Alice broke up. When I got back from Italy I was under the impression that both her and Edward died. We didn't know otherwise for a couple of months. Then she showed back up telling us she got held prisoner and has found a new mate."

"Wow. Talk about your drama."

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"I'm glad you are alive. I'm glad I got to talk to you again. It's better now that my pull is toward Anna. It's like we are just best friends again."

"I like it that way."

"Call me if you ever need anything."

"I will. You too. I will be here in hours if you need me."

"Where are you living now?"

"Up in Alaska. It's nice. Not home, but nice. I'm sure we will come back someday."

"I hope so. I will be here."

"I look forward to it."

"I love you Bells."

"I love you too Jake."

I gave him another hug before winking at him and turning to run back toward Alaska.

As I ran I started to think about what I was coming home to. Was I heading back to get my heart broken again? What was I going to come home to? I was so anxious that I stopped to hunt on the way home. I snagged two elk and a mountain lion. I ran toward the house, which I could see in the distance. As I ran out of the woods into the back yard I slowed. Jasper and Alice stepped out of the doors and onto the back porch. My vision zoomed in on their hands clamped together between them. I wanted to read their minds to know what they had decided, but I kept my mind closed off. I let my eyes wander up to Jasper's face, but he wasn't letting any emotions out. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath trying to keep my emotions in check. Finally, I opened my eyes and walked forward toward the house.


	16. Chapter 15

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 15: Decision**

I put my head down as I walked forward. I stopped at the bottom of the steps to the porch and took a deep breath before looking up. Jasper was looking at me like he was in pain. I felt my chest ache at the possibility of that look and my hand instinctively came up to my chest. I let my eyes wander to Alice who seemed… indifferent. There was no emotion on her face. I bit my lip out of nervous habit.

"Welcome back Bella. We've all missed you," Alice said smiling at me.

"Yeah. It's good to be back." My voice was giving away my angst.

"Did you have a nice trip?" Jasper asked quietly.

My chest ached again at his voice.

"Yeah. I went to Forks. I visited the meadow. I ran into a werewolf."

Alice's eyes got big.

"What? Did it attack you?"

"Oh of course not. It was Jacob."

"That dog that was at your house when we left for Italy."

"That would be him. Imagine his surprise when his dead best friend stands in front of him crouched to attack."

"What did he say?"

"He told me to call him sometime. He even fazed at the end and hugged me."

"Really?" Alice asked.

"Yeah. I was just as surprised as you are."

"Well, good to know you are safe." Jasper's voice seemed nervous at this last sentence.

I nodded at them both. Jasper looked over at Alice and smiled. I noticed he squeezed her hand. I felt my stomach drop. He had picked her. I could feel it. Alice's eyes twinkled at Jasper and I felt like I would throw up if I could. My chest split open and my hands flew to my mouth as a sob escaped.

I needed to go. I needed to run. I was going to run. Both of their heads flipped toward me at the sound that had come from me. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Bella?" Jasper sounded pained again.

"I can't… I can't do this," I gasped for unneeded air.

Before they could say anything I turned and ran. I was about to bound over the initial line of trees in the back yard when I was tackled from behind. I instantly threw my shield out and whoever was on my back went flying off. I flipped around and crouched down. Alice was picking herself up from the ground and Jasper was at her side helping her.

"Bella, wait. Don't run. I will just follow you," Alice said taking a step toward me.

My shield flexed around me as I tried to get myself under control. This was the first time since being a newborn that I truly felt like I had lost it. My breathing was fast and my hands were shaking. My shield seemed to be throbbing around me.

"Bella, are you shielding?" Jasper asked.

I nodded. It was a very fast movement that would have made my face a blur to humans.

"Bella, I can feel your nervousness and your angst. Please calm down." Jasper took a step in front of Alice with his hands up as if to surrender.

"Stop. I can't lower it right now. I'm too…I just can't." My hands wouldn't stop shaking.

My emotions were out of control. I couldn't get a grip on myself.

"Bella, what is wrong?" Alice asked looking around Jasper.

"I don't know. I… I can't… What is the matter with me?"

"Alice, go get Carlisle just in case. Let me talk to her. I will tell her," Jasper was looking over his shoulder at her.

Alice nodded and turned and ran back toward the house. Jasper turned back to me and took another step forward. One more step and he would hit my shield.

"Bella, can you try to concentrate and let your shield down?"

Concentrate? That was a joke. I couldn't think straight, let alone concentrate on my shield.

"I can't. It won't work."

"I can't help you unless I can get to you."

"No. Stay there." My shield throbbed as it pulsed back and forth in front of him.

"I think you have the wrong idea here Bella."

The wrong idea? How is that possible?

"No. I saw the way you look at each other. I will be fine. Don't worry about me."

"Don't worry about you? Look at you."

I didn't have anything to say to that.

"Bella, I pick you," His voice was a whisper as he stared at me intently.

"What?"

"We tried. It's like kissing your sibling. We both agree. Alice was just having some issues she needed to work through. She wants to stay with Stefan."

"Stefan." It wasn't a question.

My mind was trying to process this. The looks they had given each other and the squeeze of the hand. I was sure that he picked her. I was sure they wanted to try again. The shield throbbed violently around me and a pain shot through my head.

"AH!" I screamed and clutched my head.

"Bella, what is it?" Jasper yelled.

"It hurts." The pain subsided and I looked up at him.

"Bella, I think you are on emotions overload and that is why you can't drop the shield. I need you to calm down so I can get to you. Please. I feel helpless out here."

"You pick me?" I asked.

"I do. I love you. I want to be with you. Please help me get to you."

"Show me," I said.

"Bella, I have been sending you emotions this entire time. You can't feel them?"

I shook my head.

"Please trust me Bella."

Alice and Carlisle came running across the field and stopped right behind Jasper.

"What is going on?" Carlisle asked.

"She can't get her shield to drop. I think her emotions are going crazy. It's equivalent to a newborn loosing it with a human except this is just her powers going crazy."

"What are you feeling?" Carlisle asked Jasper.

"Everything. She is scared, anxious, nervous, unsure. Right now scared is topping it. She doesn't know what is going on."

"What started this?" Carlisle asked.

"I think she got the wrong impression when she saw us. She thought we had decided to stay together. I just told her I picked her, but it doesn't seem to be working. She screamed out just a moment ago and clutched her head saying it hurt."

Carlisle's eyebrows furrowed at this and he turned toward me.

"Bella? I want to come closer. Please try and drop your shield."

I tried to push through all the nervousness I was feeling, but my hands just seemed to shake harder. Another pain shot through my head and I clutched at it moaning loudly.

"Bella!" Jasper yelled my name.

"I can't do it Carlisle. I want it to stop."

"You need to calm down. Try concentrating on your emotions. Don't concentrate on the shield," he instructed.

I concentrated and I felt a pang of love hit me. I looked up at Jasper.

"Did you feel that?" He asked quietly.

I nodded slowly.

"I seem to be able to get through a bit," Jasper said to Carlisle before turning his attention back to me.

"Come on baby. You can do this. Let me in."

Little bits of calm started to swirl around me and my breathing became easier. What is Jasper thinking?

_God, let her be ok. I need her to be ok. I can't live without her. Please be ok._

My hands started to shake a little less. I closed my eyes and listened.

_She is so beautiful. How did I make it three days without her? I will never let her go again. I will never let her think something could even possibly come between us ever again. _

My shield flexed around me and a pain shot through my head again.

"Bella, are you ok?" Jasper was worried again.

"Keep thinking. I'm listening to you. Don't stop."

_She's listening to me? Bella I love you! More than life itself. Concentrate on me baby. Drop your shield. I love you. I love you more than anything on this earth. I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone else. You are my Juliet. My Bella. Come on baby."_

My shield throbbed one last time before snapping back to my body with such strength it knocked me off my feet and sent a bolt of pain through my head. I grabbed my head as my body slammed into the ground.

_Oh my god! Is she ok? Bella, are you ok?_

I lifted my hand in a gesture to come forward and instantly Jasper was looking down at me.

"Are you ok? What happened?" His hands were on my face and brushing hair away.

"You walked me through it. I listened to your voice and you walked me through it."

"I love you Bella. I'm sorry I confused you. Please forgive me."

"Me too Bella. I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Don't worry about it. I am just over emotional. That is all."

Carlisle stood over them looking down at me.

"Bella, I think we should avoid using your shield for a couple days. It seems your weakness is too much emotion. Too much and your powers go crazy."

"Appears that way, huh?"

I pushed myself to a sitting position and Jasper pulled me on to his lap into a hug. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his scent.

"Bella, why did you fly back like that?" He asked into my ear.

I pulled away and looked around at everyone.

"When the shield dropped it snapped back so hard it knocked me off my feet. It felt like a million rubber bands against bare human skin."

"Ugh!" Emmett said flinching away.

"Let's go inside and we can talk more," Esme said turning to lead the way.

Jasper pulled me to standing and Rose came over and wrapped her arm around my waist and I put my arm around her shoulder to help hold me up as we made our way back into the house. I glanced over at Jasper and he seemed upset.

"What?" I asked gently.

"You scared me."

"I scared myself. I have never felt so out of control. I am so glad I am not a normal newborn because I definitely would not be able to handle the chaos."

"You definitely need to tell me what the heck happen there."

I nodded at him and kissed his cheek as we walked up the steps and through the back door.


	17. Chapter 16

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 16: Getting a Grip**

Jasper pulled me down onto the couch once we were inside the house. He pulled me onto his lap and I snuggled up against him.

"Ok, Bella. Tell us what happened? We need to figure out what triggered it."

"Ok." I looked at Jasper nervously. "It happened kind of quickly."

"It's ok. Tell us everything. We have time." Carlisle coached me along.

"Well, I came back from my trip and saw Alice and Jasper standing on the porch holding hands. Honestly, I think I was just a little on edge already because of talking to Jake."

"Jake?" Carlisle seemed surprised.

"Yeah. He was my werewolf friend from back in Forks. I was at the meadow talking to Edward and he came across me. I forgot that the werewolf's were there. It wasn't exactly safe to be there alone. But we talked and he even fazed to hug me. We are going to keep in touch."

"That is wonderful Bella," Carlisle said smiling.

"Thanks. Anyway, when I saw them I instantly thought that Jasper had decided to stay with Alice. I came forward anyway and we greeted each other and I told Alice about seeing Jake. Well, Jasper looked over at her and I saw him squeeze her hand and I just kind of… lost it."

I closed my eyes as the memory flooded my mind. I felt a twinge of something inside of me.

"I needed to get away… I needed to run. I knew that my mind wouldn't handle that news very well. So… I ran."

Another twinge inside of me. I shook my head trying to clear the memory.

"Are you ok?" Jasper said gently from beside me.

"I can feel my shield. If I talk about this much more it is going to break out again."

"Ok. Why don't we let you relax and go spend some time in your room? We will talk about it another time."

I nodded as Jasper stood us up and wrapped his arm around me. We headed toward the stairs but stopped when there was a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Alice and Rose standing there. 

"Let me know if you need anything," Rose said pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry I did that Bella. That was not my intention. I totally did not see that coming," Alice said smiling.

"It's ok Alice. Go spend some time with Stefan. He probably needs the reassurance. I love you Rose," I said winking at her.

The both smiled and then Jasper tugged me back to him and we went up to his room. He stopped near the bed and looked at me for a moment.

"What?"

"I want to help you forget this. I want you to relax. I want you," He smiled shyly at me.

I smiled back and lifted my arms above my head. He slid my shirt up and over until he tossed it on the floor. I unbuttoned my pants and slid them down my hips He reached around and unsnapped my bra leaving me completely naked. He lifted me up and placed me in the middle of the bed. Then, quickly removed his clothes. He lay next to me and stroked his hand up and down the side of my body and breast. I watched him as he let his gaze follow his hand. His eyes looked up at me from under his lashes and I smiled.

"You are my calming influence," I whispered.

"What do you mean?"

"It was your thoughts and feelings that were able to get me to drop it. As I listened to your thoughts my hands stopped shaking and I was able to concentrate. You helped me."

"I wish I could have prevented that. You scared me."

"I know. I didn't mean to. Trust me; I hope that never happens again."

"You are beautiful," He said looking my body up and down.

"As are you."

I pulled him down to me and our lips met in the most sensual kiss. I felt him pour his love into it. The warmth filled my body and made my unbeating heart swell. His hands gripped my hips and holding me down to the bed as he kissed me passionately. He let one hand trail up my body and his finger flicked across my breast. I moaned into his mouth. His hand closed over it and squeezed gently; his thumb rubbing small circles over my nipple causing it to get hard. I wrapped my hands around his back and dug my fingers in, causing him to moan against my neck. He bit lightly on my neck and I wiggled under him.

"Please," I groaned.

He pulled back and looked at me as he continued his assault on my breasts.

"What do you want baby?"

"I want you."

He smiled at me and I felt my heart swell with the love that he let loose again. He sat up on his knees between my legs. His hand slid down my body and grabbed my knee pushing it up and following with the other until my legs were spread open in front of him and propped up. He stared into my eyes as he ran a hand swiftly over my folds. I threw my head back and arched my hips towards him wanting more. He bent forward and blew air over me causing me to scream out in pleasure.

"Baby, please touch me." I reached out for him.

"Anything for you," He whispered.

His finger caressed my folds again and then slid inside of me. I gripped the sheets under me almost ripping them. He lowered his head down again and slid a second finger in at the same time he sucked my swollen bud into his mouth. I screamed out not even trying to stay quiet. My hands let the sheet go and I wrapped them in his hair. I gently rubbed his scalp causing a low moan, which in turn vibrated over my body bringing me dangerously close to my climax.

"Don't… oh god… don't stop."

He pumped his fingers in and out of me at a steady pace. After a few more thrusts he curled his fingers up hitting my g-spot and bit down gently onto my clit as I crashed violently over the edge. My hands flew to my hair and my body arched off the bed. Jasper slid his fingers out and held my hips down as he sucked and licked up all my juices and brought me down slowly from my orgasm. Finally he pulled away and pulled himself over me and held himself up with his arms. I took deep breaths and he kissed my neck as I got comfortable again. I reached up and traced his jaw with my finger. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath. I felt his erection twitch against my stomach. I slid my hands down his chest and gripped him in my hand.

"Uh, yeah." He opened his eyes and watched me.

I smiled up at him and stroked him a few more times. He groaned louder and I brought my knees up his body until they were almost by his shoulder blades. I positioned him at my entrance and then let go bringing my hands back up to his back. I lifted my head and kissed him softly as he pressed into me. My body stretched around him and I hummed lightly. I opened my eyes and stared up at him. His eyes were fixed intently on me as he started to thrust into me gently. It was slow and deliberate, unlike any other time. His breathing picked up and he would whimper on occasion as we simply watched each other. I brought my hand up to his face and rubbed the back of my fingers against his cheek. I pushed his chest lightly and he rolled over never breaking apart. I sat up straight and began sliding my body back and forth against him. His hands rested on my upper thighs. I bit my bottom lip and whimpered at the feeling of his body rubbing against my clit.

"I love you so much," He whimpered below me.

"Forever," I whispered back.

He smiled slightly and I pressed my body all the way against him.

"Baby, go faster," He groaned.

"I love… when you call me baby." I moved my hips faster against him and quickly felt the pressure building.

He placed his hands on my hips and guided me against him. The pressure was at unbearable levels and I felt my muscles twitch a few times before clamping around him and milking him. He screamed out my name at the same time. After we came down from our orgasms I leaned down and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. After a few moments we pulled away and he rolled us sideways as he pulled out. I whimpered at the loss of the feeling.

"I know," He whispered into my ear.

"That worked. I am definitely more relaxed. Thank you."

He pulled back just enough to look me in the eyes.

"Bella, I love you more than you could ever understand. Even showing you the emotions I feel does not even start to show you."

"I know. I love you too baby."

"I felt as thought I was going to have a heart attack when I saw you before. You looked so scared and I couldn't help you."

I watched him as he remembered what happen earlier.

"I never want you to doubt me again. I never want you to feel like I wouldn't choose you. You are my life. You are who I was supposed to be with. This is how life was supposed to turn out."

"I feel the same way."

He rolled back and grabbed something out of the nightstand before rolling back.

"Jas, what's wrong?" I asked getting worried.

"Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect. That is what I am trying to tell you. I love this. I love how we are now." He gestured between the two of us.

"What are you saying then? I feel the same way. I love the way we are. I love the way I feel around you."

"Baby, I want to be with you forever."

"I want that too." I was getting anxious.

He brought his hand around and I noticed a small box in his hand. He flipped it open and there was a platinum ring in it. It had a large tear drop shaped diamond in the middle with tiny diamonds lined inside the band. I gasped and looked up at him.

"Bella, please tell me you will be mine forever and marry me."

I looked back at the ring and then at Jasper. Of course I wanted to be with him. Was it how it was suppose to be? It felt like it. I opened and closed my mouth a few times trying to form words. I closed my eyes and remembered what Edward had said. _Be happy._ I opened my eyes and saw Jasper's worried eyes staring into mine. I smiled at him.

"Of course," I said and he let out a nervous laugh before sliding the ring on my finger.

I heard loud laughs coming from downstairs and what sounded like applause. I looked up at Jasper and we both laughed.


	18. Chapter 17

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 17: Engaged**

We finally peeled ourselves away from each other and made our way downstairs a couple hours later. I had dressed in a pair of jeans and a tank top and Jasper had put on jeans and a plain fitted black shirt. I hopped down the stairs in front of him and he laughed behind me. I twirled around to see him smirking at me.

"What?"

"You are so deliciously cute. I can't contain myself." His voice was low and seductive.

"Delicious huh?" I stalked back up the stairs toward him. "You are delicious too baby." I stopped the stair below him and ran my nails down his stomach.

I felt the muscles twitch and Jasper growled.

"You too cut it out and come down here for some proper congratulations," Rosalie yelled form the living room.

I laughed and turned around running away from him. I stopped in the living room. The family was spread out around the room watching T.V. Jasper walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I sighed and leaned back against him. It was like I couldn't be away from him. My body was much better when we were touching. The anxiety level stayed down.

Alice hopped up and walked over to us wrapping her arms around me. Jasper didn't break his hold and Alice pulled away glaring at him.

"You think you could share!" She whined.

"That is the point. I don't have to share ever again. She's all mine." He bent down and kissed my neck gently.

"Oh you are going to share!" Rosalie said walking over.

She grabbed Jasper's hands and pried them apart pulling me away. I groaned and Alice and Rose looked at me incredulously.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"You are not going to be attached at the hip to him."

"Why?" The words came out as more of a whine.

"Because you need your own life."

Rosalie wrapped her arms around me.

"Congrats though anyway," She whispered into my ear.

"Thank you. Now I will actually be able to call you my sister," I said back to her.

"You are already my sister. You didn't have to marry Jasper to accomplish that."

"Thank you," I said pulling away.

Emmett was next and he swept me up in a huge hug lifting me off the ground.

"You are really going to be my baby sister now!"

"I love you too Em," I said laughing as he put me down.

Stefan stepped up and stuck his hand out. I grabbed it and pulled him into a hug.

"We don't shake hands in this family," I said as he seemed surprised at the hug.

"Right. I knew that." He laughed and I stepped over to Carlisle and Esme who had their arms around each other.

"You look so happy," Esme said softly.

"I am. He is amazing. More than I can explain with words." I looked over at Jasper who was now sitting on the sofa smiling at me.

"Well, we are glad that you are part of the family. This just makes it official on paper," Carlisle said patting me on the shoulder.

I wrapped one arm around each of them and they hugged me back. Esme even kissed my forehead. I let go and walked over to Jasper who pulled me down onto his lap. I sat with my back against the end of the couch and my legs stretched out over him and the cushion next to him.

"So…," Alice said smiling at the both of us from her place next to Stefan.

"So…what?" Jasper asked.

"Don't play with me. You know what I want," Alice glared at both of us.

I looked down at Jasper confused. He looked at me warily.

"She wants to plan the wedding," He said softly.

I looked back at her and she was practically bouncing in her seat.

"Oh." I looked away.

"Please Bella. I promise I won't do anything over the top."

"I don't know…," I trailed off looking back at Jasper who shrugged at me.

I looked around the room. Carlisle and Esme looked comfortable. Emmett was watching a football game on T.V. not really caring what was going on with us. Rose was watching me, but had a strange look on her face that I could not place.

"Please Bella!" Alice whined.

I settled my eyes on her.

"Fine. One condition though."

"Yay! What condition?"

"Rose gets to help."

Rose turned her head quickly to look at me. I smiled at her.

"She's a girl too. She likes weddings. I want her to help plan it too. And you have to share the responsibilities Alice," I scolded her.

"Deal!"

Rose smiled at me and happiness radiated off of her. I concentrated on her to see if I could hear anything.

_She wants me to help. Nobody has ever asked me to help. Maybe she does care about me as much as I care about her. I've never told her that. I should tell her that._

I smiled at her and she looked at me. I stood up and walked over to her and sat down. She turned and looked at me confused.

"I already know. I want you to help because you are my sister and I want you to be just as much a part of it as Alice. I know you care about me. I know you have a different way of showing it than Alice's excitement."

"I'm sorry I don't tell you enough."

"No need to tell me. I know. Mind reader here," I said pointing at myself.

"How's that working out for you?"

"I don't use it that often so it is good. I only use it when I feel there is something I really need to know. Or when I want to hear all Jasper's naughty thoughts about me."

She burst out laughing and I turned and winked at Jasper who looked as though he would blush if he could.

_She has no idea._

Jasper's thought intruded on me and I laughed.

"Oh yes I do Mr. Hale."

"I thought you said you don't listen."

"Well, I have to sneak it on occasion! I only do it when you have that daze look on your face."

_How about now? I want to take you out into the woods and bend you over a rock and take you hard._

"Well, now that everyone has had their happy moment I think I need to hunt."

Jasper's eyes almost bugged out of his head and I grabbed his hand.

"Come on baby. Let's go catch some tail," He choked on his own venom and I laughed loudly.

Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy, but I turned and ran out of the house.

We were about two miles from the house when Jasper grabbed me and slammed me up against a tree making an indent.

"Why Mr. Hale, are you a little eager?" I teased.

He slid his hands down my legs and lifted me so my legs wrapped around him.

"You are such a tease," He growled in my ear as he slid my shirt over my head.

"You shouldn't have such dirty thoughts. They get me worked up."

"I think I like this mind reading thing." He tossed my bra into the pile.

I slid down his body so that he could unbutton my pants. A moment later they joined my other clothes. I leaned up against the tree and looked him up and down. He unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down before kicking them off. I growled at the sight of him pant less in front of me. He grabbed me roughly by the hips and walked over to a large boulder. He sat me down and I rolled onto my stomach looking back at him. I spread my legs so that he would have better access. He growled loudly this time and slammed into me. I cried out at the sudden contact. My hands dug grooves in the large rock. His breathing was coming out in loud grunts and groans. I slid my body back to meet him roughly each time.

"God baby, you feel amazing." His voice was rough and full of desire.

"Harder," I cried.

He complied and slammed his hips against mine making loud noises bounce off the rocks around us. I felt my climax growing. He reached around and lifted my hips up slightly, sliding his hand to my clit and pinching lightly. I cried out his name as my orgasm crashed around me. He thrust about five more times and then cried out my name as his seed spilled inside of me. He pulled out and I rolled over to face him.

_God that was good._

"Tell me about it."

He leaned over me and our lips pressed together passionately. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him toward me. He complied again and he slid back into me. I sighed against his mouth. My hands roamed his body trying to feel every part I could. His mouth broke away from mine and he buried his head in my shoulder.

"I love you so much baby."

"I love you too," I moaned as I kissed his neck.

We slid against each other until both of us reached another climax. After we both came down we slid back into our clothes. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked down at me with a crooked grin.

"I can't get enough of you," I said kissing him gently.

"I have the same problem. I don't know if I will ever be able to."

"I hope not."

"I love you so much Bella."

"I love you too Jasper. Don't forget that, ok?"

"Ok."

He kissed me again and then sighed as he pulled back.

"You ready to hunt."

"Yeah yeah. Let's go before they send a search party after us."

Jasper laughed as we both took off running into the woods.


	19. Chapter 18

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 18: Unexpected Consequences**

I ran through the forest watching the trees fly past me. I could hear Jasper behind me and sped up as I laughed.

"I will catch you Bella," He laughed. I ran out into a big opening in the middle of the woods where we had started playing baseball.

I kept running in a circle as Jasper tried to catch me. The wind shifted and I caught a scent that brought me to a stand still. Jasper was next to me in a half a second.

"How many?" He asked.

I closed my eyes and let my mind listen for theirs.

"Three. And they are close."

My body instinctively shifted into a crouch and I felt my shield throb around me.

"Bella, are you going to use your shield. I can move."

"No, you stay there."

A moment later three vampires walked into the clearing. They glided over to us and stopped about 100 feet away.

_I'm too hungry to allow these two to get in my way of feeding. I do not care if it is their territory._

I growled and felt Jasper lay a hand on my shoulder.

_A feisty one. This ought to be a good fight._

My eyes traveled over them and listened to each of their thoughts. They were definitely not nice vampires. They were here to claim the territory and feed off the locals. I couldn't let that happen.

My shield throbbed around me again and I pulled my lips back over my teeth to let them know I was ready.

_Let's go. I want the guy._

Without thinking I threw my shield out and knocked all three of them back. I heard Jasper gasp as it hit him and threw him back behind me several hundred feet. That wasn't my intention but I would use it to keep him out of this fight. He would not be hurt.

The three vampires jumped up and one charged at me. I dropped my shield and dove at him. We collided and it sounded like thunder erupted. I bit down on his arm and with one quick yank tore it off. I was stronger than them still and I could hear his next moves. I quickly took him apart and heard loud snarls coming from behind me. I turned and saw Jasper fighting one of them. He seemed to be doing ok so I looked on to the last one. It was a big guy. The biggest vampire I have ever seen. He smiled wryly at me and charged. I quickly read his thoughts and stepped out of the way. A second later though he had turned and knocked me hard. I flew into a tree and it split. I quickly jumped up and threw my shield out knocking him down. Within a second I was over him. We struggled against each other and I found that he was just as strong as I was. He was also singing a song in his head so I could not read his thoughts. I heard a loud scream and I looked over to where Jasper had been. Before I could lock my eyes on him I heard what sounded like tearing metal and an unbelievably horrible pain shot through my body.

My shield shot itself out instinctively and my body flew backwards away from the guy. I was in too much pain to concentrate on my landing so I landed hard on my back. My body convulsed and I looked down at my arm to see where the pain was coming from, but I didn't see anything. I looked up a little higher and realized that my arm was now missing. I saw venom dripping out of me and the burning stabbing pain ripped through me. The other vampire were stalking toward me and I saw my arm lying on the ground about ten feet behind him.

"Jasper!" His name came out of my lips in the most earth shattering, heartbreaking scream I have ever heard.

_Bella!_

I heard his mind scream to me and a second later he collided with the vampire coming toward me. I couldn't concentrate enough to watch what was happening. My back arched off the ground as the pain shot through me. This was worse than any pain I could ever remember. I wanted to die. I begged to die.

"Bella!" I turned my head slightly to see my family run into the opening. Rosalie and Esme instantly were heading my way.

"My… shield!" I said through clenched teeth.

Rose instantly stopped with Esme slightly behind her.

"She has her shield up."

"Bella, you have to drop it so we can help you."

"I can't. I didn't even put it up! AGHH!" I screamed so loud it hurt my ears.

I heard the ripping of metal and knew that the boys and Alice had taken care of the other vampire. My body was shaking as if I was having a seizure and in the current situation it did not seem like there was anything I could do about it. My family could not reach me with my shield up and my body would not allow me to put my shield down.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Jasper's voice was so soothing that I allowed my eyes to open through the pain.

I locked eyes with him quickly and saw the look of utter horror on his face.

"Jasper…," I moaned.

"I'm here baby. Bella listen to me. I can reattach your arm, but we have to find a way to let me in."

I closed my eyes and concentrated as hard as I could. I felt the familiar pangs in my head, but nothing compared to my arm. I felt the shield throb and come back a foot. In my mind I begged.

_Please let it come back. Please let the pain stop. Please please please._

I felt a hand on my waist and I opened my eyes to see Jasper leaning over me.

"How?" I cried.

"I just walked through. I'm going to fix you now ok?"

I nodded the best I could, but I was sure it simply looked like a seizure. Just as Jasper picked up my severed arm from beside him a sharp pain shot through me causing my chest to arch up off the ground and me to cry out. Jasper dropped my arm and was leaning over me again.

"Bella, it's ok. I'm here."

I stared up at him as my vision started to blur. He was only a few inches from my face and I could not make out his smile, or the little dimples in his cheeks. I couldn't see his beautiful eyes and the little wrinkles when he smiled. It was just a blur. The pain started to fade and I felt myself drifting into the inner depths of my mind. I couldn't hear anything, or feel anything. Before the darkness completely took over I forced myself to speak.

"I love you Jasper."

The darkness crept around me and it was silent. What happened? Had I passed out? Was I dying? I didn't know what was happening. Nothing made sense. I wanted Jasper. I couldn't see him or feel him. I couldn't smell him or the rest of the family. It was as if my senses were completely blocked off.

I do not know how long I sat there for, but it seemed like days. I know I wasn't dead. At least I thought I wasn't dead. I did not know for sure what it felt like to actually die. I hadn't been burned, so I was fairly certain my mind had just closed itself off to the situation. I tried picturing Jasper in my head. I could see his beautiful smile. His eye twinkled as he laughed at me. I could practically feel his lips on mine. A tingly feeling spreading through my entire body at the sensation.

Wait. A tingly feeling. I could feel something. I concentrated on the sensation.

"It's blank. I don't see anything. Her future just… disappears." Alice's voice broke through the darkness.

I wanted to jump up and scream with delight, but I still couldn't see. I could hear her talking and the tingles kept flowing through me, but nothing else. I just enjoyed the sounds. I could hear the familiar rhythm of Jasper's breathing nearby.

"Carlisle?" Esme's voice was soft, but scared.

"She's ok. Her mind has just shut down for a moment to allow her body to heal. It's a good thing. Without it we never would have been able to help her. Her shield would have prevented it. Look. Her arm is almost completely healed." Carlisle's voice was very close.

"Baby please open your eyes. I need you to show me you are ok." I could feel Jasper's breath across my face.

"Let's take her back to the house," Carlisle said.

I felt arms slide under me and my body was being lifted. I recognized the comfortable feeling of the arms that were cradling me. I wanted to reach out and wrap my arms around him and kiss him until he couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't do that though. I had to sit here and not do anything.

After they took me back to the house they laid me in bed and everyone except for Jasper and Carlisle left the room. They both sat with me for a little bit before Carlisle asked Jasper to come downstairs for a family meeting. He reluctantly went down and I was left to my own thoughts. I laid there for another thirty minutes according to the ticking of the clock and without notice my eyes popped open.

I looked around the room and saw that I was in me and Jasper's room. I checked all my limbs and noticed they were all functional and attached. I moved my shirt that Alice had placed on me to the side and saw a huge scar going all the way over my shoulder and disappearing under my arm. I shook off the memories and quietly got up. I wanted to surprise the family. I walked quietly down the hall and to the stairs. I paused there making sure not to breathe.

"Jasper, I know you don't want to have to deal with the idea, but we have to talk about what will happen if she doesn't wake up soon." Carlisle was in doctor mode.

"She is going to wake up. You said she was fine. She is going to be fine!" Jasper was angry.

I could hear him pacing back and forth and I smiled to myself.

"Jasper, please stay calm. I know this hurts. I know you lost Alice once and thought she was dead. I know how you must feel."

"No you don't! You don't know what it is like to lose your mate! TWICE! I thought my world ended when Alice died. Then Bella put me back together and I realized that she was what I was suppose to have my whole life. I have never felt this way about anyone. Not even Alice! And you are sitting here telling me I may never get her back." His voice broke at the end and I couldn't just stand there anymore.

I took a few quick steps to place me and the bottom of the stairs. Jasper had his back to me and everyone else in the room looked up and their mouths fell open.

"Jas," I whispered.

His head flipped around and he just stared at me for a long moment. Slowly he turned his body around and took one step toward me before collapsing on the ground as his body shook with dry sobs. I quickly ran to him and sunk to my knees in front of him. I placed both my hands on his face and pulled him up to look at me.

"Baby, I'm ok," I whispered the words to him

He nodded his head and brought his arms around my waist before gently pulling me to him and burying his head in my neck. I heard the family stand up and leave the room as quietly as possible. Jasper just held me for a long time.

Finally, I pulled back and looked at him.

"I thought you… Thank God you are ok," He said running his hand along my face.

"I'm fine. My mind kind of just shut down from the pain. It's a good thing I heard. I heard Carlisle tell you it allowed him to reach me."

"I love you."

"I love you too Jasper. Don't ever forget that. I will never leave you."

"I know. I just got scared."

"Why don't we go up to our room and just be together."

He stood and scooped me into his arms. I laid feather light kisses on his neck and jaw. He kicked the bedroom door shut with his foot and pulled me onto the bed with him. He laid me on my back and was leaning over me looking down on my face.

"I never want you to close your eyes again. I was so scared I would never be able to see your beautiful eyes again."

"Well, you can. Whenever you want."

He nodded and lowered his head to kiss me. I pressed my mouth against his and he lowered his body so it was pressed against mine. I spread my legs so he could rest easily between them. His kisses became more urgent and I ran my hand up his torso to his neck. My other hand rested on his cheek. He pulled away and looked at me again.

"I need you," He whispered.

I nodded and pulled him back down.


	20. Chapter 19

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 19: Inner Demons**

Jasper spent an hour simply kissing me on every exposed piece of skin. He paid close attention to the new scare that graced itself on my body. I simply let him do what he needed to. I wanted him to feel calm again. I wanted him to be ok. When he started kissing slower and concentrating more on my neck and shoulders I decided to become more active.

I slid my hands up his shirt and brought it up towards his shoulders. He lifted one arm at a time to allow me to slide it off. Then he broke away long enough for me to pull it over his head. He stared down at me while his hand worked the button on my jeans and the zipper. I lifted my butt off the bed for a moment so he could slide my pants down. He pulled my panties with it and I was soon topless after he ripped my shirt right off. He sat up and undid his pants before standing up to kick them off.

He crawled back over me until he was back to eye level and just stared at me for a moment. I could see he was having an inner struggle, but couldn't figure out what it was about.

"Baby, are you ok?" I whispered.

His eyes broke away from mine and he looked down at the fresh scar on my arm. One hand came up as he traced the line that led underneath my arm. I was starting to get a little worried.

He bent down and kissed me so softly I would have thought I was still human. Without speaking a word he pushed into me until our pelvic bones were pressed against each other. I moaned at the feeling of him filling me. I watched his eyes carefully as we continued and I saw them glaze over with venom. This was the closest a vampire could get to crying. It broke my heart to see him look like this. I could feel my climax building and the little grunts coming from deep in Jasper's chest let me know he was close to. I reached a hand up and caressed his cheek lightly. He leaned his head into it and locked eyes with me again. I had to know what was wrong.

I concentrated on knowing what was running through his mind and it quickly opened up.

_I can't…. I could not go on. What if…. I just… I'm sorry baby._

He knew I was listening, but couldn't convey his thoughts. He pressed his body deep into mine and rubbed his pelvic hard against mine causing me to crash over the edge unexpectedly. He was close to follow. I pulled him down to me and crushed my lips to mine allowing every ounce of love I had for him come pouring out of me. When we both came down from it he pulled out quickly and collapsed on his back next to me while throwing his arm across his face.

I simply lay there confused for a few moments trying to put together what just happened. I turned my head, but he was not looking at me. His face was still covered. I rolled onto my side and placed my hand gently on his stomach.

"Baby you're scaring me," My voice cracked.

"I'm sorry." His voice was heartbreaking.

"What's wrong? Did I do something?"

His arm instantly dropped and he pulled me onto his chest with my face just an inch away from his.

"There is nothing you could ever do to make me upset. I love you."

"Then what's wrong?"

He stared into my eyes and caressed my cheek with his hand.

"I can't imagine life without you. I came so close to loosing you today that it's like my brain can not comprehend it. I just… I want to keep you safe. I want to hold you. I'm scared that I won't be able to protect you from things. I'm scared you are going to get hurt and get taken away from me. I'm scared that you are going to wake up one day and realize I'm not the one you want." The last part faded into barely a whisper.

I sat up and pulled him to sitting so he was against the wall and placed myself on his lap. His hands ran up and down my back before resting on my hips.

"Jasper listen to me. I love you. I love you more than life itself. I traded life for eternity with you. As much as I say I did it so that Carlisle and Esme wouldn't lose another child, I lied. I did it because I couldn't die and take myself away from you. I knew you loved me. I was just being stubborn. I could never put you through the pain of losing me. Because I couldn't even imagine what it would feel like to lose you. I would never do that to you. I will protect myself. I love that you want to protect me. I love that you want to hold me all the time and never let me go. I love when I catch you staring at me for no reason. I love you and nothing in this universe could change that."

"Thank you," He whispered the words before pulling me in to a kiss.

I broke away a moment later and smiled at him.

"Let's get married."

"I thought we already were," He smiled at me.

"No, now! Soon! I don't want to wait. I want to call you mine. I want you to be mine forever. I want it to be official. I want to be yours."

"You already are darling."

"I know this. I just want it on paper."

"You want to get married now?"

"Well, we can have a little bit to plan it. But I want it soon. I don't want to draw it out. I want it to happen!"

"You're sure?"

"I have never wanted anything more in my life."

"Ok. Let's get married."

"Well, we don't have to go right this second."

He smiled at me and pulled me up against him into a much needed hug.

"Oh god Bella. I love you!"

"I love you too Jasper."

His hands slid down my back to my waist.

"Look at me," He whispered into my ear.

I pulled back and looked at him at the same time he lifted me up and slid back into me. My eyes slightly rolled back in my head before I pulled my concentration back together and locked eyes on him. I rocked my hips against him causing a deep moan to escape his mouth.

I set a steady rythm as my hands roamed his upper body. His hands would go from guiding me on my hips to running up and down my back. He dropped his head to suck my nipple into his mouth. My back arched toward him and he thrust into me harder.

"Bella, bella, bella." He moaned my name over and over again as he pressed into me.

"Jasper… I'm.. Oh… Oh god!" My walls clenched around him and I pressed my lips to his roughly.

A moment later he twitched inside me before releasing. I licked his bottom lip and he opened his mouth to allow me access. The rough kisses turned into gentle ones before we finally pulled away.

"I think we need a shower Mr. Whitlock." I smiled at him.

"I think you do too Ms. Swan."

"Mrs. Whitlock. Mrs Hale." I tried out each name.

"Which would you prefer?" He asked watching me with a smirk on his face.

"I like them all. As long as I share it with you."

"How about we do Isabella Hale-Whitlock."

"I would love that. That way I can share something with Rosalie and we can still be inconspicuous when we start school again. I will just go by Whitlock."

"You are brilliant."

"I know," I laughed.

"Not cocky at all!"

"You love me!"

"I do. More than you know."


	21. Chapter 20

**Unknown Beginnings**

**Chapter 20: The Big Day**

I stood in front of the full length mirror staring at my reflection for the last ten minutes. I was very pleased with the turn out. Rosalie and Alice did a brilliant job. I was wearing a strapless floor length gown that trailed out behind me. My hair was pinned half up while the rest hung in loose curls on my shoulders and neck. My veil was positioned perfectly around my face.

"No matter how long you stare you are not going to get ugly," Alice joked as she skipped into the room.

"I know. I'm admiring the view."

"Oh, well in that case continue."

"Thank you again Alice." I turned to face her and she smiled up at me.

"I have something for you."

I looked down and noticed the little box in her hand.

"What is it?"

She stuck her hand out and I took it and nervously opened it. Inside was a beautiful butterfly hair clip with little blue diamonds along the body.

"Alice it's beautiful."

"You need something blue. And I figured it was perfect to bring a little piece of

Edward with you."

I looked up at her quickly confused.

"What?"

"It was another thing Edward kept for his mom. I knew where it was and I know he would want you to have it as your something blue."

I looked back down at the box and felt the venom pool in my eyes. I knew they wouldn't release, but I knew it meant I felt like crying. I took a few steps to the side and sat down in the chair there as I stared down at the hair clip in my hand.

Alice walked over to me and kneeled down so she was eye level.

"Bella?" Her voice was soft.

I looked up and met her gaze.

"He's supposed to be here."

"No. Don't say that. You are meant to be with Jasper."

"I love Jasper. And I want to spend eternity with him. But it doesn't mean that if Edward had never died I wouldn't be doing this exact thing with him."

"That is true. I have no doubt he would have married you. I saw it even a few times when he would make the decision to ask you. But this is how fate played out."

"I miss him so much still."

"I know. And he is smiling down on you right now."

I nodded at her a few times and then stood up.

"Let's do this."

"Alright. Carlisle is right outside waiting for you. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Ok."

She fluttered out of the room. I took one last look in the mirror and opened the bedroom door.

Carlisle stood before me dressed to the nines in his tux.

"Bella, you look beautiful."

"You don't look so bad yourself dad."

He beamed ear to ear at me calling him dad.

"I want you to know I am so proud of you. You are stronger than anyone I have ever met."

"Thank you."

He was silent a moment as he looked at me. It seemed as though he was debating on saying something.

"Go ahead." I gave him a little smile.

"You can't just hear it?"

"I only listen if needed. I don't want to invade your privacy."

"I want you to see something. So please listen."

I nodded and opened myself up to him. An image flashed before my eyes of him in his study. He lifted his head and looked at someone across from him. The angle changed and it was Edward. I gasped at the sight. It had been a while since I seen him.

"_You really like her," Carlisle stated._

"_No. I love her," Edward's voice was smooth._

"_I'm happy for you son. It's about time."_

_I just want her to be happy."_

"_She is a strong girl."_

"_She has to be to be ok with us."_

"_It's more than that."_

"_She is the most amazing person I have ever met. She is beautiful inside and out."_

"_That she is."_

"_I'm going to marry her someday. She is going to look amazing in her wedding dress."_

"_Marriage?" Carlisle asked surprised._

"_If she'll have me. I can already picture her. A vision in white."_

_Carlisle smiled at him._

The vision disappeared and a sob broke out of me.

"He loved you so much Bella. He would be so happy for you right now. He IS so happy for you right now."

"I can't do this." I put my face in my hands and let my body shake with sobs.

"Bella, I did not show you that to upset you. I didn't want you to back out of this. Jasper is downstairs waiting to make you his wife. He loves you. Edward loves you. Edward wanted you to be happy. You told us that yourself. You heard him say it. He wanted it to be with Jasper. I wanted you to know that he loved you so much and you made his vision come true. You are a vision in white."

"I want him to come back."

"We all do. Even Jasper. Jasper would give you up in a heartbeat if it meant Edward was back with us all. Back with you. That is how much he loves you. He knows how much that hurts."

I nodded not able to speak.

"Give yourself this. Go downstairs, tell Jasper how much you love him, and show the world that he belongs to you."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I opened them and smiled at Carlisle.

"Ok."

"You going to be ok dear?"

I slipped the butterfly out of its box and slipped it into my hair easily.

"Ok, I'm ready."

"Shall we?"

I smiled and hooked my arm with him as we headed down the stairs.

We had decided to have the wedding in the back yard with just close friends and family. Rosalie was standing as my maid of honor and Alice was standing as bridesmaid. Emmett was the only one standing up with Jasper. We stepped in front of the open door that led out to the backyard.

There was a big white tent set up. Directly at the bottom of the stairs the aisle spread out between the few rows of guests.

My eyes locked with Jasper instantly and a huge smile spread across his face. I couldn't help the smile that spread across mine at the sight of him. The music changed and my lullaby filtered through the yard. My mouth dropped open and I looked up at Carlisle.

"It's the only way," He whispered.

I took a few deep breaths to gather myself and then turned back toward Jasper as Carlisle led me down the isle. When we reached the end I turned to Carlisle who pulled me into a hug.

"Congratulations Bella. You have always been a daughter, but this just makes it official."

"Thank you dad." He let me go and took my hand and passed it to Jasper.

He led me up in front of him and I turned to look at him.

"You look beautiful," He whispered.

I let my eyes wander down his frame and back up and he laughed.

"Down girl." He winked and I laughed.

We turned to the minister, which was a friend of Carlisle's.

"I now pronounce you Mr. Jasper Hale and Mrs. Isabella Hale-Whitlock. You may kiss your bride."

Jasper turned to me and his eyes were glowing. He pulled me close so our lips were only a centimeter apart.

"You're all mine now." And pressed his lips against mine.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as the audience erupted into applause. We pulled away and turned to everyone making our way down so we could spread hugs and shake hands.

After taking our time chatting with everyone, Jasper took my hand and led me out to the dance floor. The dance floor was open to the sky and the moon was bright. Jasper's skin danced with the light. I laughed out loud when the song started up. It was "You say it Best When You Say Nothing at All".

"May I have this dance?" Jasper bowed lightly in front of me.

"Of course."

He pulled me up to him and wrapped his arm around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck. He spun me around the dance floor perfectly as he sang the lyrics in my ear.

"So are you happy Mr. Hale?" I asked pulling away slightly to look at him.

"Bella, I have never been happier."

"Me neither." He bent his head and laid a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I heard you talking earlier. To Carlisle and Alice." He watched my face closely, but I couldn't hold his gaze.

"I didn't mean that I didn't want you."

He shook his head and stopped me from saying more.

"I know it didn't mean that you did not love me. Carlisle was right Bella. I would give all this up if it meant that you could have Edward back."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. I know you love me and that you are happy with me. But I also know that if Edward was still here that you would be with him. This would be your wedding to him. And that doesn't bother me."

"It should."

"I know it should. But it doesn't. He was my brother. I want him back just as much as anyone else. So yes, I would give this up for him to be able to be here and for him to be able to hold you in his arms again. I don't regret that at all."

"I love you."

"Listen to me." I knew what he meant so I opened my mind up.

He let memories of us together flash before his eyes. The way he use to look at me before we were together, the weekend at the Denalis, our first kiss, our first time making love, and the vision he saw of me walking down the isle.

"My memories are just as good," I whispered.

"I am so glad that I can now call you mine. I am never letting you go Mrs. Isabelle Hale-Whitlock."

"I like the sound of that."

"Mmmm… Me too," He said as he brought his face down to mine for another kiss.


End file.
